Monday, May 30, 2016

Vault Face: Ferret Watch

Bank Holiday is with us again, and I'm feeling sentimental for days of yore when my garden was filled with playthings — and my hosepipe squirted more than an ineffectual dribble.

So here's a post from 2009.

It's a day that feels like the perfect Bank Holiday Monday, even though it actually wasn't.

Ferret Watch




It’s not every day that Son of Whirl comes running into the study as I’m massaging my pecs with a rolling pin and cries, ‘Dad! Dad! Come quick! There’s a ferret in the garden!’

With only swimming goggles, Wellington boots, gardening gloves and a sou wester to protect me, I dashed — nay, was pushed — onto the lawn to “sort it out.”

Maybe I was expecting a stoat, or something weasely-dragony-deadly, with huge fangs, sharp claws and an up-yer-trouser-leg whoosh to rival Graham Norton on a blind date.

What I discovered was that ferrets are actually quite cute. At least, this one was. It looked like a miniature albino badger that had been stretched by a couple of wrestlers, and when I found it rolling around in the fresh compost by the potting shed, several things were immediately clear:

1) It was cu-uuuute.
2) It had no intention of running away, launching a ferocious attack on anyone or doing anything other than looking cu-uuuute.
3) The sou waster was an overkill.

The RSPCA couldn’t collect it till this morning, so we got to have a ferret in our greenhouse for the night, safely tucked away in Geoff’s travelling cat basket.

Did she like this?

She did not.
 

11 comments:

writtenwyrdd said...
Ferrets smell rather musky and their piss reeks to high heaven (worse than Geoff's if she were to eat asparagus, even) but they are hilarious little clowns. A friend had a pair and they are great pets if you give them the attention they need. Hopefully this guy's owners will recover him (her?) soon.
Kiersten said...
We nearly got a ferret as a pet when I was a girl.

I still suspect the whole "we're getting a ferret!" was a ploy on the part of my dad to make my mom finally cave and let us get a dog.

It worked.

Also, that last picture with Geoff is priceless.
Anna Claire said...
Awwww. Too much cuteness in one post. Did you get any "can we keep it?" requests?
fairyhedgehog said...
Oh poor Geoff!

That is just amazing though. I take it that it's someone's pet ferret that escaped. I hope they manage to get it back - do you get first dibs if they don't?
Whirlochre said...
It definitely escaped from some civilising hidey-hole and if it's owner hasn't contacted the RSPCA by now, I'd be surprised.

As for reeking piss — only the worst French roadside squat thrust troughs have equalled the ming left in our greenhouse.

Current list of pets for when Geoff pops her clogs includes snakes, snakes and...er, snakes. And tarantulas.
Litgirl01 said...
Awwww! Poor little thing. :-(
McKoala said...
Ferrets are cute until they sink their teeth into you.

Long Live Geoff.
Robin S. said...
Ohhhhhh! Ferrets are darling!

I had friends who litter-trained theirs, and they walked around their house with it draped across their shoulders.

Keep it. Keep it! And name it James or Janet or Jamie or whatever - something that sounds schmaltzy yet nice with the name Geoff. Pleeeeeeeeeease.
Scarlet-Blue said...
Ahhhh... I always wanted a ferret.
Sx
JaneyV said...
I blame Richard Whitely for all the bad press given to ferrets. They are cuuute.

Not as cute as a dog but then again … what is?

Geoff! Of course Geoff! Yes indeedy Geoff!

Geoff is waay cute.

And she's probably spitting in my direction now...
sylvia said...
I laughed out loud at Geoff glaring at the intruder.

Are ferrets not vermin, then?

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