Monday, January 4, 2016

Feel The 2016 Heat, Baby


    Top blogger Floyd G. N. Skrindelwitz advises us to begin our blogging for 2016 “with pizzazz, verve, adventure, excitement, brio, wonder, sublime heroics, power, daring, magnificence, courage, brilliance, bravado, bravissimo, vim, gusto, grit, balls, hair, teeth — and big, flappy trousers,” but it concerns me that he is missing something on the deal here.

    I have no wish to dispute the advice of an expert, an oracle, a God, but I reckon there are plenty of fireworks lofting high into the skies right now, and adding to the vapour trail of floral flashes and explosions would only risk consigning my new year message to the dustbin.

    So I intend to keep things simple.

    Clint Eastwood proved that when it comes to cowboys, simple packs power — and who am I to argue with the wisdom of a Hollywood legend?

    Turns out I am the same person who would readily argue with Floyd G.N. Skrindelwitz over blogging advice, so you have to figure that I hold the achievements of film stars and imaginary cowboys in higher esteem than I do the accumulated knowledge of the internet’s lead blogger, but today is not the time to wheel out the associated pedestal hierarchy from behind metaphor’s stacked nest of tables and begin making with the adjustable Ikea-like leg support fittings.

    I simply want to wish you all a Happy New Year, whatever that means.

    Some of you, I know, have dreams of world domination, but for the rest, even simple goals are worth pursuing right now — and every bit as worthy.

    Eating soup without spilling it in down your shirt, finding your favourite hairbrush, worming the cat — all of these endeavours can be taken up right away as valid New Year resolutions, and pursued with pizzazz, verve, adventure, excitement, brio, wonder, sublime heroics, power, daring, magnificence, courage, brilliance, bravado, bravissimo, vim, gusto, grit, balls, hair, teeth (and big, flappy trousers).

    But there’s just one thing that Skrindelwitz forgot, and it is coincidentally a quality that Clint Eastwood had in spades when he blasted the bad guys from the face of the earth (even as Dirty Harry).

    So, whatever your aims and objective for this still bulbous New Year, don’t forget the passion.

    I want to feel the passioned heat of your resolve burning holes into my underpants, all the year long.


 

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