Thursday, December 24, 2015
My Christmas Message
When John Lennon sang,
“So this is Christmas,
And what have you done?
Another year over.
A new one just begun.”
he was jumping the gun.
Because when it’s what Boy George irritatingly referred to as kissmusstahhh in his brief stint as pop arse on the 1985 charity hit, Do They Know It’s Christmas?, it cannot also be the beginning of a new 365-day cycle.
For that, you have to wait another week.
But who am I to argue with a dead pop legend?
Or even a creep in a hat who is regrettably still alive?
My Christmas message to you is one of peace, happiness, prosperity, joy, hope — and a desire to preserve all the world's penguins and keep them safe from harm, even the naughty ones.
So have fun, suck on chocolate and turkey till your eyeballs resemble the very bauble dangling from your trees, and return here in 2016 for more of the delights I know you’ve come to savour like irremovable warts with unnervingly cute faces beaming from their lumps and wrinkles.