Thursday, September 17, 2015

The Truth About Yer AI-ness

    I have no problem whatsoever with A.I.

    Actually, that’s not true: I do have one problem, one very big beef.

    !!! Why is most A.I. so crap? !!!

    Either it’s hopelessly uneasy to use, or if it’s supposed to replicate or simulate a dog (for example), the very last thing it ever does is replicate or simulate any kind of actual dog, real or simulated.

    Most of the simulated dogs I’ve seen in action look to me either like cats or monkeys.

    So I don’t figure on the world being overrun by robots any time soon.

    Case in point: My new ultra hi-tech printer is so sophisticated that it’s impossible to get it to do anything properly.

    Tell it to print three sheets of A4 — and it prints six (twice).

    Tell it to max on the colour — and it scans the carpet.

    Tell it to add labels — and it invades Liberia, firing off lasers and sucking the brains of children into its Chimera Genesis Pod.

    I’m convinced The Singularity is a myth invented by right wing politicians to keep down workers’ wages.

    “Be grateful you’re lucky to be granted three bucks an hour for what the Japanese kids’ toys of tomorrow will shit in milliseconds — and while you’re at it, MAKE ME A GODDAMN CUP OF CAPPUCCINO.”

    See?  I shouted that out loud, and my printer did nothing — because that Chimera Genesis Pod is a fiction.

    Who needs a Terminator for that kind of prissy crapola?

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