Thursday, July 9, 2015

Productivity Hacks: The Shoot-out


  Wisdom abounds these days, cheap as chips.

   In the fast food restaurant of internet hacks, the custard skin of neuroscience may be peeled from the apple pie of happenstance, and its soggy underside deciphered like Egyptian hieroglyphs.


   There are hacks for everything, it seems.

   Best time of the day to be productive?

   Hack!

   Top 3 strategies for beating habit?

   Hack!

   Solution to the conundrum for gaining maximum exposure for murdering people you believe to be infidels?

   Hack!


   Bit by bit, our tabs, phones and cybergimps are enabling one and all to take on board what would previously have been secret knowledge.

   Like an inebriated magician giving the game away in his sleep, the internet has flipped the lid on everything from how to deal with your utility company like an FBI negotiator to better ways of honey glazing your Christmas dinner carrots while massaging a platypus into submission.

   Advice, secrets, hacks —  call it what you will: this pool of shortcuts and tricks ought to make the world spin a little easier.


   But there’s a problem.

   Let’s assume for a moment that time is infinite.

   And let’s factor in a few ground rules to help things along, like ignoring any opportunities for the human race to be devoured by intergalactic space bugs or evolve into penguin-cum-chameleonalikes.

   Shit like that.

   Given time, it’s possible for everyone to figure out most of the hacks, same way as mathematics is now a part of everyone’s lives in the way it WASN’T when Neanderthals killed everything they saw at least ten times because they couldn’t count.

   What if we ALL knew the best way to be productive?  The top 100 habits for ANYTHING?  The killer lines?  The killer moves?  The Ultimate Hairdo?

   Would that really guarantee a world of easier spin about axis, where we productively all get along productively in a global Win:Win scenario to win over all other Win:Win scenarios ever Won:Won?

   Or do some of these hacks depend on disabling “the other guy”?

   As in, they’re not “hacks” but “shafts”?


   Productivity is all well and good (ask any sloth too lazy to lick its own penis), but what matters in the end is what you’re being productive FOR, what objective is desired.

   If one person’s hack is another’s amputated potential, then what is the product?


Original photograph c/o Morguefile, squeezy tube contents c/o Whirl


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