Thursday, March 5, 2015

The Grammar Nazies’s’ Swastika’s (ae?) (s?)


Strikeout your inner pedant right away.

She will shrivel all hope of prose and poetry as you reel in words from the ether.

Or regurgitate them up from way beaneath yer.


Now I have enraged her, and shrill abominations echo from the future.

“I am tired of typos and all things misplaced!
Fix all before you send your words my way.
Especially that A
or my brain will squirt
from every suture.”



Her words pierce ears like javelins
pruned back to ‘spears’
and temptation’s muscle flexing lash
makes with a dash,
run through
the offending vowel.


And now the open window beckons,
and words spill in to the void.

Or you fix up a coffee,
have a shave,
stroke the cat,
ring a friend,
eat a banana,
pace around,
give up,
resolve yourself to read a comprehensive grammar guide, dressed in a straitjacket,
have another shave,
watch TV,
bake a pizza,
play Angry Birds,
clean the kitchen,
or any of those other things that begin with an unfinished sentence
or thought
caught
one the thorns
of Little Miss Pedant’s grammar Nazi swastika horns.


She is the guillotine to the run-on thought,
The Handmaiden of Should and Ought,
Pay heed to her,
and you scribble
naught.


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