Thursday, June 19, 2014

Thinking To WIN WIN WIN!

    I have a burgeoning file of insights and motivational aphorisms.

    It began life some years ago as a scrappy A5 folder full of even scrappier magazine clippings.

    Like “How I Tamed My Horse” by Marion Geary.

    There’s a picture of a horse, followed by a few column inches devoted to biscuits and use of not a single whip, then Marion winds up the article by saying (cheerily) everyone can do this!

    Ha!  Gotta be hooked!

    Since then, I progressed to politics and philosophy, and even went as far as subscribing to Autotrader Weekly.

    Some of those car enthusiasts can be proper motivators!

    Since the advent of word processors, computers and the internet, I’ve taken to accumulating scraps of wisdom in the form of a Come On Get Up And Go You Big Pranny file.

    It’s all in there.

    Killer stuff like:

    If you’re not part of the problem you’re part of the solution!

    You’ve got to speculate to decorate!!

    Never bugger a horse in full view of an overcrowded police station!!!

    That type of thing.

    I’ve found over the years that if I’m stuck on a particular project (be it fiction, relationship-based — or as is the case right now, “of a terminally blocked kitchen sink nature”) all I need to do is have a read of my special file.

    Within minutes of poring over its abundant wisdom I feel I’m closing in on solving my dilemma.

    Quotations leap from the page like old friends, proclaiming, “how could you have forgotten THIS sage advice?”

    I read on, and I read on, and I read on, my confidence growing in stature like Alan Carr peeling a banana in a roomful of easily pleased 30-Somethings, my will-to-do bolstered by sages from down the ages — everyone from Confucius to Chopra to Vanessa to Eddie the Eagle.

    I’m filled with a sense of wonder, a sense of joy.

    To be part of this rich tapestry of optimistic invention!

    To ascend to the heights of all practical wisdom and seize from its plateau the gems of mankind’s finest thinkers!

    To caress each hallowed aphorism as a majestic unicorn nurtures its young!

    Then I reach the end of the file and shoot myself.

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