Thursday, May 29, 2014

Make Time For Me-Time

    Our world is going NUTZOID.

    Sometimes it feels like we want to STOP IT or GET OFF IT — but there are no brakes, no handy astronaut suits.

    It’s then that we experience STRESS, TENSION, maybe MURDER.

    Fortunately, there’s a solution.

    MY solution!

    It’s called the Orville D. K. Hoolihan “Make Time For Me-Time” Method, and over the coming months I’ll be letting you in on a few of its hard-won secrets.

    We’ll sort out payment options at a later stage.

Okay, So What Is “Me-Time”?

    Put simply, Me-Time is time for YOU.

    But we don’t call it You-Time because from YOUR point of view, you’re ME.

    So the ME here is YOU, not ME.

    (And to clarify, when I say WE, I’m talking here about myself. No one else is involved. It’s just ME and YOU (only YOU are ME for the purpose of discovering Me-Time)*)

Though I can discover it too, because I’m ME.

    Me-Time is your time.

    It really is that simple.

Why Do I Need Me-Time?

    Ever felt like your day, your own personal space, is being ever more crowded out by the needs of others?

    Ever been pinned to the wall by the demands of time?

    When this happens, your cortisol levels SHOOT RIGHT UP, along with your HAIR, and life feels UNCOMFY AS HELL.

    You take pills, you smoke crack, you drink alcohol — but nothing seems to work out.

    What you need is quality Me-Time.

    Time to stop, to pause, to reflect, to change your tights or whatever.

    You can’t stop the world, but you can STOP yourself.

    For over 2000 years Buddhists have called this state of mind ‘serenity’.

    I call it 2000 bucks well spent.

    But more on the pricing LATER.

The Neuroscience Of Me-Time

    Scores of scientific studies have shown that the calm, reflective state of mind produced by taking quality Me-Time has a beneficial effect on brain functioning.

    Synapses become more efficient, blood supply to all the major brainoid areas improves, and excess juices drain away.

    When individual culex pipiens gnats were isolated from others in their cloud, their stress levels plummeted by 100%.**

    Such is the power of Me-Time

Great! Tell Me More About Me-Time!

    I will, I will — in time.

    My “Make Time For Me-Time” Method is foolproof, and in a future post I’ll give you TIPS to GET you started.

    But first I want you to do something for me.

    Take some time today to make a mental check of where all your time goes.

    Check off things like laundry, administration, cooking, cleaning and such.

    Keep your list until we meet again next time.

    You’re starting on a journey.

    An incredible journey.

    Right now.

Orville D.K. Hoolihan is the author of over 250 self-help books in 2,500 languages. He has helped trillions of people solve problems in their lives and his methods are taught all around the   Slovakia. He lives in Margate, UK, with his wife Bonnie and their two sons Gordon and Listerine.

** DISCLAIMER — Trials conducted by the Insect Biology Department of the University of Wisconsin, 2007. These trials were called into question by researchers from Oxford University after it was discovered that 100 of the 100 isolated gnats died on the way to the isolation chamber as a result of faulty tweezers supplied to the research team. The Oxford researchers argued that the gnats’ reduced stress levels were most likely the result of their untimely deaths. Investigations of the trial continue. 


fairyhedgehog said...

This is so exciting! I've got a shedload of money promised to me by a Nigerian prince and as soon as it arrives I'll be in touch about your payment plan!

Whirlochre said...

Don't you just love that feeling when everything comes together?