Friday, August 16, 2013

Blog U Lark


   According to my Bloggo MacBlogg’s Bloggerly Guide to Blogging, serious bloggers are recommended to post to their blogs at least once every 47 seconds in order to maintain follower loyalty.

    Over the years, I’ve tried to stick to a regular schedule, but the subtle relationship between input and output defies all strategic planning — much like the digestive habits of a man fed random meals ranging from the fibre-rich to the almost liquid and seriously fruity who braves the loo each day uncertain as to whether he’s a ‘pre-constipation cowboy’ or an ‘astronaut of impossible gastric splash about to blast off into the Diarrhoeaosphere’.

    I’m taking in a curious blend of stimuli right now.  Some, I’ve chosen, while others have been thrust upon me like invading Mongol hordes, and as my brain does that brain-specific trick of hooking things together and making links when previously there were none, I can only mutter as an exasperated monk woken from untimely slumber during afternoon prayers when it comes to being Schedule King — or even Schedule Mule Slave #254.

    It’s a good job I’m not running the buses or organising Vladimir Putin’s kickboxing weekends.  Those things are best left to the experts.

    To correct the sloppiness of my posting schedule I’m inviting post topics in the comments trail.  If there’s a choice, I’ll pick my favourite and post next week; if there’s just one suggestion then I’ll go with that (in a “Hi, Captain, they call me Bones — and I’ll be the only ship’s doctor on board this vessel for the next kazillion TV ‘n’ movie years...” kind of a way).  If there are no choices, I’ll HURT A KITTEN.

    So go ahead, slay me...



6 comments:

Evil Editor said...

Reproduce the key parts of the court transcript in which arguments were made for who should get Richard III's remains, and why.

Whirlochre said...

Thanks EE, that's a great start — even though I know you're only chipping in to protect kittenkind...

Whirlochre said...

The only problem with having comment moderation on your blog is that sometimes it's all too easy to mistake genuine comments for spam and accidentally delete them.

These two in from the mighty Fairyhedgehog — the blog's first ever follower, no less:


No, no, no! You must not HURT A KITTEN!

You need serious kitten therapy; you should research LOLcats and DailySquee and other cute websites with kittens and your next post should be about why kitten pictures are an essential part of anyone's internetting routine.

Sometimes I do despair of my bloggie friends. Hurt a kitten indeed.

Needing email follow-up to check that you're listening to me.

(I forgot to tick the box. Again.)

Whirlochre said...

Looks like it's Richard III & kittens so far. Any more offers?

fairyhedgehog said...

First you threaten to HURT A KITTEN then you delete my comments and only fear of the dreaded REVENGE OF THE HEDGEHOG causes you to have second thoughts about silencing me and my random CAPITAL LETTERS.

Well, you know what they say about revenge, Whirl. Be afraid; be very afraid.

Whirlochre said...

Uh oh — I am so horribly in trouble now...