Monday, March 12, 2012

My Social Media Have Birthed Homunculi

When you sign up to Twitter and Blogger and Facebook and Arsebook and Nolife and Crustybum and WankAhoy! and Stern Horse and Linkydinkmyazz and Troll Targitt and Pixofmybits and Lookitmyfurniture and Toast History and Sawthisturd and Share My Prolapse and Audiorectum and Musings As Rusings and Subliminal Adbot Attractocopter and Cryogenesis Byte Bunker and Snorkel Thrust and My Pets Sing and Alphawave UR Baby and Earwax Alert and Inflatostatus et al, the one thing they never alert you to in the “10 years at my disposal to read this crap” terms & conditions is that

(1) you will end up saying the same things to the same people via an unbelievable number of aliases and avatars,

(2) everything you say will be re-tweeted, re-blogged, re-facebooked (etc) by all your friends, your friends of friends, and (ultimately) everyone else in the cyber world via all their aliases, aliases of aliases, and favourites of aliases of avatars,

(3) everything ever said by anyone will be sniffed out and regurgitated by spambots and whambots and botbots before being rolled into infotorpedo after junkmissile after trashjavelin prior to a ritual firing at random into the naievety of the Universe.

And so, with a view to having my assembled commas jizzsputniked up the Pleiades, I’ve signed up to Gene-Splice-The-Monstrosity-Of-My-Narcissistic-Inevitableness-With-All-Known-Means-Of-Time-Consuming-And-Vapidity-Inspiring-Cybertech-Transmission-Nighmare-Hellholes-Dot-Fuckin-Com and aired a few snippets of writing. Most of it has appeared here in various guises — some of it recently — but if you’re cruising round the cybersphere clad in another of your alii and you’ve nothing else better to do, maybe you might like to drop by while we wait for all our personal information to be mangled into mnemonochunks no bigger than a nanobeetle’s brain...


Old Kitty said...

Oh goodness you've gone over to the dark side and become a twit.ter.


Oh I'm kidding! Nothing wrong with being a bird!

Take care

Whirlochre said...

It's actually lighter over there than would appear possible for a shady side.

Light, as in "weight"...

McKoala said...

Jottify oh my

Mother (Re)produces. said...

As much as I sometimes love love love being able to find a knitting pattern for a dead fish hat or a recipe for Navajo fry bread or tried and true methods to evict the colony of fungus between my 2nd and 3rd toes, there are days when I wish the whole of internetmobilephonia would CRASH and BURN and FUCKING DIE.

But then I couldn't talk to you cool guys.

Grump grump grumpalump.

stacy said...

I think some of my music was featured on Audiorectum.

Whirlochre said...

What's that? A discount haiku?

Grumpalumps sound like Oompahlumpahs fed growth potions.

Self deprecating humour of the finest variety...