Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Pre-Jubilee Prostratosphere


Today sees me playing host to a telephone engineer.

I’ve laid on cups of tea and the finest selection of biscuits known to mankind, all delivered on an antique wooden tray (complete with doily).

Of itself, it’s a wonderful opportunity for me to practice my social skills — she’s only been here for fifteen minutes and we’ve already covered the economy, Jamie Oliver and imminent nuclear war with Iran — but if truth be told I’m using this encounter as a trial run for my forthcoming audience with the Queen.

As you may be aware, it’s Diamond Jubilee year, and from the middle of March, H.M. and her entourage will engage in a nationwide tour to shame even David Cameron’s pre-election shenanigans.  According to the itinerary at stalkamonarch.com, she’s due to visit my home town, and though I’m neither an ardent royalist nor any kind of weird-hat-wearing celeb-fiend, I nonetheless harbour a desire to prostrate myself before rich old ladies with too many dogs.

But try telling a female BT engineer it’s “only a rehearsal”...


4 comments:

Old Kitty said...

What I wouldn't trade to be this telephone engineer woman...

Take care
x

fairyhedgehog said...

What Kitty said!

Landra said...

Have to agree with Kitty and Hedge. A doily? You're really pulling out all the stops. Tell me the cups were china, and you flashed that smirk of yours.

Whirlochre said...

Thanks all. If it helps, internet teething problems following the engineer's visit resulted in me being so intermittently present on the net over the next few days that I rang the phone company to ask for my prostration back.