Monday, October 17, 2011

Legs? I Never Mentioned Legs!

Regular visitors may remember a post I ran a while ago about Victoria Coren — specifically her skills as a consummate turner.

Since that time, I have noticed (c/o my tracker) that random visits to this site relating to ‘victoria coren legs’ now outnumber any references to ‘Noddy Holder’s Cock’ and ‘Medical Students & Leather-clad Sub-dom Sex Slaves’ by about 2:1.

I can quite understand why someone might want to type ‘cock holder’ into their browser and how such a search could lead them to me via the miracle that is cybertranslocutery flammery. As for medical students and the realm of the sub-domly, the two go together like ‘chalk and cheese’ and ‘black and white’ at a Things That Don’t Go Together festival.

But ‘victoria coren legs’? What kind of search is that?

I have no doubt that Victoria Coren has perfectly interesting legs and less doubt still that there are plenty of people out there who would like to see more of them. Why they’re ending up here is beyond me (the random visitors, not Ms Coren’s legs). My original post doesn’t mention legs at all, either dangling from said quiz host and poker whizz’s torso — or anyone else’s.*

*OK, so there’s knees and bottoms — but nothing that would get you here via ‘legs’.

So let me clear things up about the whole Victoria Coren thing. I stand by everything I said in that original post (apart, perhaps, from changing my stance towards people in gorilla suits), ie that Victoria Coren is the best Turner To Facer in the quiz hostess business. And that’s all. Matters concerning her legs are nothing to do with me and as far as the whole turning thing goes it wouldn’t make the slightest difference what kind of legs she had — or even if she was an amputee.

If you’re here because you’ve just typed ‘victoria coren legs’ into your browser, then BUTT OUT, LOSER — this is a serious writing blog.


Scarlet Blue said...

I have an interesting following on my old blog due to those rubber gloves you gave me.
Seriously, I'm doing very well in a private forum!!

Whirlochre said...

To quote Rod Stewart, I'm sure "you wear it well" — even though 'it' is a 'them'.