Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Pre-Morph Squisheroo


Several half-formed blog posts currently lollop at my feet like larvae. Their thin skins glisten like pearls as they wiggle on the tiled floor below me with the squeak of rubber gloves dragged over glass.

None are sufficiently developed to spread their wings or do that weird bobbidy-bobbidy thing with their antennae and it would be wrong of me to take snaps of their embryonic nudity — particularly on a Tuesday. I know pregnant mothers go on to keep the scans of the babies in their wombs (in fact, the woman across the road has had hers blown up and framed*) but I’m no pregnant mother.

* over her front door

So until the chitin has formed around their blubbery exteriors, I’ve chosen to sit lightly upon the largest and squeeze a little juice out of the spiracles.

It isn’t proper blogging, I know, but it beats recycling an old post. There’s quite a gurgle to it when I wiggle my bum around, and a line of miniature prismatic fountains ebbs and flows from their sides as I bounce up and down.

I’m tempted to press on and squeeze this one flat as a cr√™pe , but whatever these fluids are, they would almost certainly be followed by bona fide innards — assuming I didn’t pop the thing first.

So maybe I’d better dismount and change my trousers...

6 comments:

Jinksy said...

A lovely breakfast of entertaining words, I must say! LOL. Gave me the first smile of the day, thanks. *smiles* back to you...

Whirlochre said...

Jinksy

Ah, this is how it works. Now I'm smiling too — where before I had been a paragon of misery...

Old Kitty said...

Larvae grow into beautiful moths and butterflies. Or annoying daddy long legs.

It's good to know you wear trousers.

:-) Take care
x

Precie said...

You had me at "lollop."

I can almost look fondly at larvae now...almost. Good luck with future gestation.

fairyhedgehog said...

I'm so relieved to find out that you're not a pregnant mother. It's something I've been wondering about.

Whirlochre said...

Old kitty
It's Daddy long Legs Season very soon. I love it when they buzz about the grass like a trailer for autumn spiderwebs.

Precie
Nice to have your lenses scrutinizing my larval frenzies.

Hogalicious
I try to reserve my womb for sandwiches.