Friday, June 10, 2011

Rubbing Hieronymus On Your Koch

Why on earth do drug companies insist on giving their hi-tech pharmaceuticals such ridiculous names?

Ibuprofen, Acetaminophen, Cogibobamucophren — what have these names to do with pain relief or freedom from underarm polyps of a bulbous nature?

Okay, so I made up the last one, but if the -phrens win out over the -phens and -fens in any future nomenclature trends, maybe it will find its way into your medicine cabinet, possibly even your bloodstream.

When your head is pounding with the quasi-migraine throb of a full-on post-editing zonker, wouldn’t it be so much easier to reach for the Jim?

Or when your piles are gorged to the point of poking out the neck of your sweater, how much simpler to spoon on the Gemima?

I’m compiling a hit list of new pharmaceutical brands to mail out after the weekend.

After all, if ‘Dave’ can be TV channel, surely anything goes in this hip new millennium.

Any suggestions?


Old Kitty said...

I vote for a Daniel Craig for headaches and if symptoms persist after three days, I may up my dosage to a Naked Daniel Craig. Take two every four hours.
Take care

fairyhedgehog said...

I'm undecided. I thought anything must be better than Anusol, but how about rubbing Jeremy on your bum? (For some reason I was thinking of Top Gear.)

The manufacturers really need something ultra bland, like Creamy Cream or Alternative Remedy. Although taking Patrick Stewart for a headache has a certain appeal.

Whirlochre said...

Old Kitty
Daniel Craig normally gives me a headache.

Scurrying Wondrous Hog
I think the idea is, you rub your bum on jeremy.

As for the Anusol, that really is bizarre.

stacy said...

Oh, I'm with Kitty on the headache medicineExcellent advice. Kitty should be a doctor. : )

I don't know. There's a pet stain and odor cleaner called Anti-Icky-Poo that sells very well. Almost anything can sell if it works well, no matter how odd the name. Just look at the Snuggie.