Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Prunes With Hatchets vs Cheesy Nibbles On Forks

Averse to editing?

As a suggestion, why not try meditating on this rewrite of Stevie Smith’s most classicalest lines:

All things pass.
Editing is fondue.

To keep things simple, it helps if you drop the first part.

No more dissection of paragraphs and clauses with the curling tongs of perfect form — simply immerse your chunks of prose in the sizzling oil of literary brilliance, coated in The Sublime’s savoury batter and pronged on The Ridiculous’ slender fork.

Gather round the non-stick tub with your writer chums and take it in turns to poke nuggets of succulent goodness about with the deftness of young children hooking funfair ducks — only without the need for snotty noses and headlice.

Invest in a top of the range tripod and a trussed baby dragon! Comb the oil from the hair of a seborrhaic Mexican wrestler! Procure a set of forks so sharp as to draw no sound from the piercing of a perfect pickled onion!

The long road from first draft to finished book/story just got a whole lot easier...


4 comments:

Old Kitty said...

And never ever use Edam. It doesn't melt as well and just becomes one big rubbery mess. :-)

Take care
x

fairyhedgehog said...

Can we do a chocolate fondue instead?

jjdebenedictis said...

Man, that was the best-tasting lump of backstory I've ever had.

Whirlochre said...

Old Kitty
The only thing I ever use Edam for is throwing at door-to-door salesmen.

Choc-o-Hog
Only for chick lit. Doesn't work with hard-boiled detective novels (apart from Magnum).

JJ
You should see my prologues.