Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Count The Calories, Clock Up The Pain


Keeping fit is the new black, it seems.*

* and that’s black as in style/fad/fashion, note — not ‘magic’ or ‘panther’ or ‘failed Jamie recipe’.

From Land’s End to John O Groats, people are hopping onto immobile bicycles, connecting their limbs to mechanical pistons and pulleys and practising their isometric bum-busting techniques up against filing cabinets with a selection of flowery bath towels.

Some, like Zen Workout Queen, Stacy, are getting Yogic to the point of putting hairs on the chests of their Inner Guru.

Here at Whirl Towers, the preferred mode of staying trim is the Wii Fit.

When Girly of Whirly received one recently for her birthday, it took me half an hour of trilling my fingertips ineffectually atop its surface to realise it wasn’t an iPad.**

** When the iPad finally arrived, Son of Whirl broke it mistaking it for the Wii Fit.

Since then, it’s proved itself to be a godsend in the Overall Physical & Mental Improvement department — though we have lost the little red dot responsible for working out your centre of gravity a few times.

So here’s the itinerary for so far this morning.

* Two light jogs round Wuhu Island.

* Synchronised sparring with the reformed cockney villain formerly responsible for shaving Vinnie Jones’ tramlines.

* Bumping the numbered balls to a total of ten via a series of Ooh Missus pelvic thrusts.

* Pretending to be Eddie the Eagle (lounge curtains closed for this one).

It’s a punishing schedule, I know, but I’m happy to report that thanks to Girly of Whirly sticking at it, I managed to lose 4 calories as I dozed upstairs from the vibrations shaking the house to its foundations.

11 comments:

Scarlet Blue said...

Just to show off somewhat... I have a Wii-Fit age of 20 and I'm a champion baton twirler and juggler.
Sx

stacy said...

Keep at it, Whirly Girly. You're doing your father a favor.

Whirlochre said...

Scarlet
Without wishing to blow my own trumpet, I cracked the three digit barrier on my Wii Fit age yesterday.

By the end of the week I'm hoping to synchronise my Wii Fit age with my Brain Training IQ.

How cool is that?

Stacy
For reference — my partner is not my daughter (although she frequently behaves like it).

Meanwhile — Yoge on, lotus queen...

Old Kitty said...

Ah. It's all block colours and ditsy florals these days.

What do you mean "pretending"?!? LOL!

Take care
x

Scott from Oregon said...

My 76 year old stroke victim mother Wii fits everyday for three hours or so...

She holds all the records.

fairyhedgehog said...

My son has a Wii fit. Maybe I should find it and wipe the dust off.

Sylvia said...

I love the bird-flying one (although I almost ended up locked up when Cliff brought the electrician through while I was doing that one in my PJs!)

And the skate board although quite how I manage to fall off a square stable device quite so often just by pretending that it moves is beyond me!

stacy said...

Whirl, I am definitely getting my lotus on. Thanks for linking my blog!

I've actually heard the Wii can be great for fitness. Have you experienced any health benefits from the house shaking?

Whirlochre said...

Scott
Good to see your woodland Tardis again.

And — Go Go Go Mrs Mom de Scott From O.

Hog Of Wonder
It's a great place to practice all your wedding day dance moves.

Sylvia
Not so fond of the bird game and definitely crap on the obstacle course thanks to jumping too often.

Stacy
I hear it's great for nudging along a constipated bowel.

(Thant's house shaking, not the lotus position btw).

Richard N said...

I've discovered that I can burn of an extra couple of hundred calories a day by carrying this tyre around my middle. :-)

Mother (Re)produces. said...

I have not been very faithful to the machine lately, partly due to better weather in the real world. I do love the obstacle course, though, and the flying chicken. (I look so very attractive in my digital chicken suit.) Honestly, though, I find the yoga good when I've been sitting at my desk too long.
Sun Salutation! Makes me feel like Wonderwoman, but without the tacky headband.
Happy wiiing, House of Whirl.