Saturday, January 1, 2011

Lurid Pink-o-hula Ra

From the withered remains of 2010 rises the fluffy bunny of 2011.

As a veteran of these almost Dr Who-like annual makeovers, I can’t say I’m too upset about the demise of 2010. It’s not so much what happened as what didn’t – the lost teeth rather than the fist-sized chunks of chocolate cake stuck at the back of your throat.

But lurid pink? Are you serious? What kind of fluffy bunny is this?

I suppose when mucus drips freely from the hard nose of reality, it’s better shimmering with such a colour than regulation Snotty. Which is not to say that the fluffy bunny of 2011 now bounds gaily across my lawn showering the snow-blackened shrubbery with its nasal bounty. Far from it. I merely wish to point up the omens we’ve amassed to ourselves, how 2011 is going to be The Nightmare To End All Nightmares (particularly in the UK where the swine have made off with all the pearls and now seek to charge us all for having cast them). It’s a villainous dagger of the mind on a par with the falling from Heaven of beds of roses, free Beyonce CDs. Or whatever swing of fate the oracles predict.

Okay, okay, I’ll confess.

I’m preparing this post a day in advance, like a Blue Peter presenter folding her half dozen incomplete Origami Chihuahua acrobats, Nigella flopping her doughy rondules into bowls overnight till the yeast has risen.

It’s New Year’s Eve. 2010. Still.

The withered remains remain unwithered and the fluffy bunny neither bounds nor showers; appears pink nor lurid, bunnylike nor otherwise.

It’s the secret Old Father Time slips in between the exagerrated hopes and fears with his sickle, there to be read like secret sigils woven into Jools Holland’s seborrhoaic follicles:

The future hasn’t happened yet. This will always be true.

4 comments:

DJ Kirkby said...

The mind boggles :) Happy New Year to you and yours.

fairyhedgehog said...

Technically you're right, of course, but I feel like I'm living in the future because I can use things that were pure science fiction when I was growing up.

I know Microwave ovens aren't as good as replicators and we don't use phasers on a regular basis, but we have doors that swoosh open as we approach and headsets that let us talk over the phone when we're in the street. And the internet - I don't think I could ever have imagined the internet.

Lovely post, Whirl. I hope you and Girlie of Whirlie and Son of Whirl all have a wonderful new year.

Old Kitty said...

May your day today be a shower of fluffy pink bunnies bounding fluffily. The future's bright. The future's orange - with pink fluffy ears.

Take care
x

Whirlochre said...

Ok, now we're up and running...