Tuesday, November 9, 2010

An Unsubtle Infusion Of Sock Pong


I have no idea what they’re putting in the Ylang Ylang washing machine powder tablets these days, but I can confirm that it’s about as much cop as Vera Lynn would have been as lead singer for Led Bloody Zep.

This I know because three pairs of wet stinky socks deployed for a walk on Sunday afternoon ended up in a load intended to be exclusively composed of school uniforms and frightful shirts. Yesterday, when I wore a couple of said frightful shirts (because it was chilly), it took me a while to realise why everyone I met seemed to have smelly feet. At first I suspected a bug of some kind, a virulent worm capable of sneaking its way between innocent toes and vomiting up a slurry of bacteria and athlete’s foot style slime, but then I figured — no, it would have been on The Adrian Chiles Debacle this morning, slipped between some brave disabled kid who’d rescued his grandmother from a fire and a catwalk display of vibrating bras. You go through all the options don’t you? Before finally admitting — Christ! It’s ME!

Fortunately, my revelation occurred in the supermarket, and though the communal sniffing and retching I’d previously thought had a global rather than personal origin continued, I managed to cover my tracks till I made it outside by spinning some story about how Tesco was going upmarket and muscling in on Waitrose by piling its cheese counter to the rafters with 2-for-1 rounds of Chaumes.

Phew.

And I mean — PHEW
.

8 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

Oh yuckaroonies! So, a change of washing powder coming up then?

Whirlochre said...

Plus a change of socks, shopping habits, life...

Old Kitty said...

You mean "peeee-eeeeew!!!

:-)
Take care
x

jjdebenedictis said...

Some socks defy soap. They mock its efforts with high-pitched jeers and blasts of...ambiance.

McKoala said...

Nice try, I think you're going to have to try a bit harder to get rid of Latvialovedoll.

Whirlochre said...

Her ambience simply won't rinse out in the wash.

writtenwyrdd said...

I had a male cat that occasionally applied "pong" to my clothes before work. Never quite sure how it happened, but a couple of times I was late so I could stop and buy a new one. Yech.

For the removal of organic odors, I always use a bit of this organic cleaner called Odo-Ban in my wash loads. It keeps any random odors out. As you describe, it's not a nice surprise!

writtenwyrdd said...

buy a new shirt, not cat! :)