Sunday, August 8, 2010

Pseudonimbus Fluff Clouds

I’m so glad H.P. Lovecraft didn’t change his name to H.P. Bacon in order to curry flavour with the masses.

“You’ve got to read this story! There’s this huge octopoid demon creature, see, and he’s the embodiment of pure evil and—”

“Okay, okay, slow down. Who’s it by?”

“Some guy called H.P. Bacon...”

A lifelong career as a pulp fiction weirdo could have been squished overnight.

Ditto for the similarly unhappened Wardrobe Jagger, Stomach Di Caprio and The Doily Pistols.

As you may be aware, I’m resident in this online world of delights under a pseudonym, which I choose to be purely for reasons of temporary anonymity. It’s not that my real name is Thor Vagina, or anything similarly ludicrously embarrassing — and Thor, if you’re following as a lurker, and I’ve offended you, I’ll pay to have your name changed by deed poll to something more palatable like Ian, Vincent or Arey (or better still, send you a paper bag to wear over your head till the day your suffering ends).

Should circumstances arise when it is necessary for me to reveal my true identity, I can confirm that I will not be assuming another pen name. What I have is perfectly serviceable, and there are parts of it I truly like. Not bad for someone whose Mum nearly named him Dean Tracey, say I.

So what about you?

Do you plan to walk the line naked, or clad in the faux-show-pro* of almost onomatopoeic nomenclature?

* Got this off a Judoon...

Whatever the case — I’ll supply the debut novel titles of any suggested nom de plumees in a future post and design the cover for my favourite.


fairyhedgehog said...

Well, we've heard your voice and seen your face - heck some of us have met you! *swoons gently* So it's just a matter of time before you reveal your name to us.

I've toyed with the idea of a pseudonym but I can't see that I'll ever get famous enough for it to matter. If I ever write erotica that would have to be pseudonymised though.

So, a suggested nom de plum (which as I'm sure you know is LOLcatese for "I eat the fruit".) How about Pearl Labyrinth? Or Gruff Geezer? Or even Rum Goat Savage?

Whirlochre said...

I hear all three of these authors are going to press even as I type...

fairyhedgehog said...

Oh I do hope so!

Phoenix said...

Well, I hate my given name -- the first name is common enough but seems to be more for young girls and I cringe whenever I'm called by it; the surname is difficult in the US, though I hear it's a bit more popular in Canada wherefrom my paternal grandparents hailed -- and I love to play dress up, so pseudo cloth for me.

Phoenix because:
* I wanted something one-word memorable as a first name
* The phoenix was part of my heraldry in the SCA
* I've always loved the mythology
* It was the name of the protag in Brian de Palma's Phantom of the Paradise, an early teen favorite
* I had a Dobername named Phoenix

Sullivan because the "S" rolls off of the "X" in Phoenix and it's a common but not too common a last name.

Alas, I chose the name when I hoped to publish under romance or women's historical where the name rather fits. For near-future science thrillers, not so much. But it's my brand and I'm sticking with it till someone gives me money to do otherwise.

I see you, Whirl, as a Scroppy Longbottom. Or perhaps the more direct Ira Dunce (well, YOU're not, but as a penname with meaning, if you get where I'm going ...)

I hope circumstances circumvent so we get the big reveal soon.

FHH: Does that mean you guys called him Whirly at the meetup? And you went by the nominative Hog? I can just imagine anyone eavesdropping on y'all's conversations!

fairyhedgehog said...

We called him Whirl. They called me Gina. It didn't seem as odd as it sounds!

Whirlochre said...

Your authors are added to my list.

As for Phoenix Sullivan, if I ever come back as a 30s adventuress with a biplane, I'm bagging it.

We did. And it was far from bizarre.

Old Kitty said...

What about:

W.O.O. Hoo.


Take care

Whirlochre said...

Old kitty
Is she still in print? Seems an age since she first, that would be giving it away.

stacy said...

Personally I always liked Whirl Hunting.

Whirlochre said...

Good for you...

Aerin said...

I legally changed my name when I was 18 so by god I'm using that when I publish my book. Er, books.

I'm hoping this post, Whirl, is a tease that you're on the verge of needing to actually reveal your name because you've been agented and/or contracted.

As for other noms de plum (noms noms noms), I'm at a disadvantage, being American and all. Possibly Barnaby Hottentot, Callum Nee, E.Q. Piddle, or Francis VanDerKlod?

Whirlochre said...

The only tease round here is Geoff licking round her whatsit, I'm afraid.

writtenwyrdd said...

I already started using a version of my real name (first initial and middle) both because I want to keep work life entirely separate and because I live in a small town where everyone knows everything about you and I just don't want to keep my entire life in one basket.

And then there's the fact that I always hated being called Debbie, and it's nearly impossible to get folks to call me Debra or Deb even though I introduce myself that way. (Yes, I even tell them what I want to be called. It doesn't stick.)

Your pseudonym always has amused me. Perhaps you can call yourself Geoff Whirlochre or something of that ilk?

fairyhedgehog said...

Geoff Whirlochre is a seriously cool name!

Whirlochre said...

So glad I never acquired Buzz status...

Mother (Re)produces. said...


Carvel Crackbottom?
Appercu Cowper?
Seamus Heany?
W. Earl Oaker?

As for myself, I'm counting on no one in my village being able to read English. That and having everything I ever write rejected. So far my clever plan is working!

Whirlochre said...

Trawling internet websites for these babies.

Amazon, AbeBooks, Pec Dobermann's...

McKoala said...

I think I'll stick with my real name. Minnie McKoala has such a nice ring to it.

Whirlochre said...

Is 'ring' the same thing as 'sudden ferocious swish of claws through air, culminating in the torn flesh of a mortal wound and screams destined to fade to gasps, last gasps of hope'?

OK, so call me a pedant...

McKoala said...

Yup. That's pretty much it.

Robin B. said...

Dean Tracey eh?

Actually, for me, I was onto and liking the idea of using an ancestral name( no, not a rich one, no manner house hidden back there in Ireland or anything, just a dirt poor immigrant ancestor) for my last name, then I changed it to my actual last name (at least THIS iteration of my actual last name (I've had more than one, as one does when one is female and one has a father and more than one husband and one doesn't worry about keeping one's 'maiden' name, as one has realized that this is still a man's last name that one was given, so who gives a shit which male's last name...I could go on and on...)

Anyway, I think I'm back to using my actual last name, but still thinking about the ancestral last name.

Hmmm. Who the hell knows?

Anyway. I like Whirlio but I think your actual last name would look good on a book, and you'd like it, too...OK, yeah, I'm gonna use mine as well, come to think of it.

Robin B. said...

Shit. Wrote that in a hurry. MANNER house? What the hell?

Whirlochre said...

My actual last name isn't bad at all, is it, for a writer of the kind of stuff I write?

Meanwhile, I'm willing to forgive you your typo and accept Mana House as a specialist publisher of fantasy novels — possibly, those of Pearl Labyrinth.

fairyhedgehog said...

Ooh, yes, Pearl Labyrinth would love to be published by Mana House.

Robin - you know Whirl's real last name? I'm astounded.

Whirlochre said...

Snuffler 'midst Shrubs Sorceretique
Sounds like the deal has just been clinched.

Expect book titles over the next few days...

fairyhedgehog said...

I'll read them when I get back from my meanderings.

Robin B. said...

If I knew his last name, I didn't KNOW I knew!