Saturday, May 15, 2010

On Ferrets, Neighbours — And Urine

Some of you may remember the ferret incident from last summer.

Here’s the photo if you don’t want to follow the link — though frankly, if you don’t want to follow the link, what the hell kind of follower are you? And that hair of yours! Quite ridiculous!

Anyhow, the whole incident was clocked by my good neighbour, so it seems, and in the wake of one or two new cats turning up in the ‘hood, she popped round yesterday to ask whether she could borrow the basket.

‘We’ve adopted a stray,’ she said, looking terribly Mumsy in her casual jeans and pinnie. ‘I thought I’d better take him to the vet and see that he’s OK. Get all the jabs and that.’

At this point, I turned behind me to the pile of rubble currently masquerading as my abode. ‘The basket’s in the attic, I’m afraid, but when the builders have cleared the landing, I’ll bring it straight round — though I must warn you, there’s a problem.

The problem, of course, was that last summer, the basket temporarily housed a ferret, and if there’s one creature on this diverse planet that can diverse the heck out of any other animal’s nostrils with the shrieking stink of its piss, it’s yer ferret. My neighbour has a teenage son, but even so, I felt duty bound to prepare her for an even more vicious odour assault.

Cut to later, just after the dust cloud settled on my half a bathtub. I arrive on my neighbour’s doorstep clutching the smelly cat basket.

‘Do you want to see him?’ she says. ‘My son loves him, and all his mates have been round to play with him. He just arrived out of nowhere a couple of weeks ago.’

So we go into the garden. Where there is a cat. On an ornamental mushroom. By the pond.

A cat that looks uncannily like Geoff.

‘I think he’s a kitten,’ my neighbour says.

Mystery of Geoff’s whereabouts during the tumultuous renovations solved.


Old Kitty said...

I hope you've now got Geoff back.

And what happened to the ferret? And yes I did click on the link and at least I've got hair.


I hope you got Geoff back.

Take care

Robin S. said...

Oh, poor Geoff!!!

Is she back home now?

Peter Dudley said...

You brits have such nice, pleasant, charming things. In America, we use cramped, portable prisons to carry our beloved pets.

Whirlochre said...

Old Kitty
The ferret was whisked away by the RSPCA after it sprayed its innards all over our greenhouse.

Geoff has returned — though she still has a pass to next door.

That one's a bit "Hannibal Lecter", isn't it?

Bernita said...

"terribly Mumsy..." that is a rather sweet description.
Glad about Geoff.One understands why Geoff decamped.
I didn't follow the you really think long silvery hair with a nice wave is ridiculous?
My word ver is caterr, btw.

Whirlochre said...

Long silvery hair with a nice wave sounds perfectly acceptable.

writtenwyrdd said...

I'm glad you found Geoff. Did you have to wrestle them for the "kitten" or did they give her up without a fight?

Whirlochre said...

We now have an arrangement where Geoff is most welcome next door, but will not be fed and watered there.

Oddly enough, my neighbour's son is nicknamed Jeff, and since Geoff responded to this, she was remaned Stef.

Don't ask me — I don't make up the rules...

Bernita said...

Thank you, Whirl, she said gravely.
Had to post. My word ver is "fangs."

Robin S. said...

Stef is a nice name.

Whirlochre said...

Stef, Bernita, Wrobin — all good names, those...

writtenwyrdd said...

She will always be Geoff to me, Whirl. I think "Stef" probably had a grand adventure, even better than the floor boards, but I bet she's glad to be home, annoying you guys and getting underfoot.

sylvia said...

I can imagine that Geoff would *not* have been pleased if she'd been shut in a ferret-urine infested box!

Glad to see she's making friends. :D

(my wordver is too rude to quote!)

stacy said...

Awwww, glad you got Geoff back. That's kind of a hilarious story, actually.