Saturday, March 20, 2010

Equinox Tale Soooooooop


According to my research, here in the UK we were visited by the phantom bunnies of the Spring Equinox at precisely 5.32pm this evening.


I’d planned to sneak out into the wilderness and celebrate with a bottle of lager and a Mars Bar, there to be enchanted by the spectacle of gambolling lambs and all manner of emergent abundance — but sadly, it was shitting it down.

So instead, I cleaned out the bath and spent a quarter of an hour looking for a sock presumed missing in the wash. Then Geoff spewed half a tin of Tuna n Chicken mush up under the fridge, the kettle sprang a leak, and I discovered the huge bag of salted potato sticks I’d been saving up as a weekend treat had been opened, eaten, and disposed of three whole days ago by other members of the family (shameless and “on the list”).

But I mustn’t grumble.

Harry Hill is on in 20 minutes.

Then I’m hanging myself in the attic.

14 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

Oh dear. I thought the equinox was tomorrow. I'm always late these days.

Hey, that means the light is beating out the dark, as of now!

By the way, you're not to hang yourself, in the attic or anywhere else. You've a book to get out there.

Kiersten White said...

I second Fairyhedgehog's sentiments. You're much too delightful to confine to a measly attic haunting. And you'd make an awful poltergeist.

Though it *would* be a nifty way to avenge yourself on the food snatchers.

jjdebenedictis said...

You should turn to murder, not suicide, when someone eats your potato sticks.

You big old silly.

Mother (Re)produces. said...

Oh, for pete's sake whirl! Why hang yourself now that the days are finally winning? Wait till autumn at least. Besides, I was thinking of starting a betting pool on how many effing rejects my effing fairy story would get- surely you don't want to miss that!
And FHH is right; we want the book!
we want the book!
we want the book!
etc...

Whirlochre said...

Spiky Flittery One
A timely reminder of my duties. I'm only checking in because I'm stuck on a bazooka joke.

Kiersten
I reject utterly the notion that I'd make an awful poltergeist. Forget all that moving things around nonsense, all that wooo wooo wooo — I'd ruin all your jellies and trifles. Every single one. Then we'd all see who's awful.

JJ
You've taught me two important lessons this morning:
a) I've never been called a 'big old silly' before.
b) I actually rather like it.

Mother
You're right, I should be grateful. From now until June is normally my most productive time of the year. And I would dearly like the book too!

By the by, your baby photo is interesting. I have a similar one somewhere, only I'm walking left-to-right and carrying a ball. Funny how we all had blond hair in those days, isn't it?

Robin S. said...

Yeah, we did all seem to have blond hair back in the day. Then I had it later on, from a bottle, but the real thing was much better (not to mention, less brassy).

There will be no hangin's, Whirlster. We need to see that novel of yours published and on the shelves. FH was absolutely correct.

latvialovedoll1877 said...

i am so hot. u want I burn you with beutiful pastry? we dance to REM then mak hot hot sex. i have corgi romntic walks brunete student hot hot hot

Mother (Re)produces. said...

and besides, what would latvia love doll do with all those spare pastries?

Robin S. said...

Heh.

Whirlochre said...

Wrobin
As I'm not a girl and have only just started evidencing the odd hint of grey, for a moment there, I had visions of you drinking hair from a bottle.

As for the book — hopefully, it's imminent. Still one or two horrors to fix, most of them feline.

Mother
What can I say? I have a Russian lurker who accesses the site via Noddy Holder's Cock (link in the sidebar).

Wrobin
tishoo.

There — a transatlantic sneeze.

Mother (Re)produces. said...

I'm not desperate enough to click on Noddy Holder's cock, even to satisfy my curiousity.

Yes, towheads, the lot of us, ay?

although, mine's a bit red; can't tell in a black and white picture.

Whirlochre said...

Next time I see him in Morrisons, I'll let him know he's been spurned once again...

Bernita said...

Whirl, I think you'd make a great poltergeist, but really, wait until it's accidental and not intentional.Please.
Concentrate on finding a new hideyhole for your treats instead.

Whirlochre said...

Bernita

My poltergeist credentials?

Awful or great?

It's a shame both yourself and Kiersten are probably unaware of Harry Hill.

FIIIIIIIIGHT!