Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Giving Up Chocolate For Lent


Thank heaven there's a tasty sounding new alternative to Mars bars, Creme Eggs and Curly Wurlys...

25 comments:

Mother (Re)produces. said...

they might want to speak to their marketing department...

stacy said...

No kidding, Mother!

fairyhedgehog said...

I'm sticking with the chocolate!

Kiersten White said...

Oh, well CRUD. Just when I've decided to give up bowel health for Lent!

Liam said...

Wow, that's...special. Okay then. I like my chocolate bad for you and nonbowelly.

jjdebenedictis said...

"Fruit and probiotic bar" doesn't sound too bad. Now, if they had only stuck to that.

Because under no circumstances do I want the word "bowel" to be foremost in my mind when I'm putting something into my mouth.

stacy said...

So you're giving up bowel regularity for lent???

Robin S. said...

Tell me this is a joke? Like the Saturday Night Live skit in the U.S. a while back, where they were making fun of fiber cereals with a 'skit cereal' called Colon Blow...

Whirlochre said...

Mother & Stacy
Quite right. We need the TV ads, complete with constipation combatting "before & after" grunts.

Hogalicious One
There speaks the voice of common sense.

Kiersten
Interestingly, you're with the monks of Holy Island on that one. Prior to the final proofread of the Lindisfarne Gospels, an unknown scribe wrote the following note on the inside back cover...

"Manye legumes i consyume this Lent my merry commune for to irk.
Penance mine be vapours foul
about yon habit a-lurk."


Liam
Lucky for you, Cadburys has just been bought out by Kraft.

JJ
The entire concept is only marginally more appealing than having a scrubbing brush poked up your arse by a team of intestinal specialists.

Stacy
Actually, teleportation of isolated body parts might help to solve the organ donor crisis in the future. It would be like a rental version of the system we currently have, combined with the car share thing.
"I'll teleport you my liver for a few days if you let me have a kindney" — and then, instead of a return to the dialysis machine, it's back to normal till the next swap.
Of course, by the time we have organ teleportation, we may already have organ cloning.
But you never know...

Wrobin
I'm still trying to track down an internet reference for an 80s potato crips snack specifically designed to provide you with a rectumload of gas on demand. I know they existed because I tried some. And they worked.

Robin S. said...

Ha!

Now, there's a visual for me. And my olfactory goody has kicked in as well. How about that?

Chris Eldin said...

The pooopy bar! Ten year old boys everywhere now have a new source for jokes!
:-)

(um, does it work?)

Chris Eldin said...

Hey Wrobin! How ya doin?

Bernita said...

I just bought a bag of chocolate covered cranberries. I'm giving up Lent for Lent.

Lisa Marie Miles said...

That sounds gross! Although it IS cheap.

Whirlochre said...

I wander, late in, on the melange of souls, like a witless mirror reflection of all possibility.

Alternatively...

Get real! You PONCE!

And so...

Wwrobin
Looks like you're now a Level 2 Robin. And I'll get back to you on the fart snacks.

Chris
Show me a ten year old boy who doesn't love fart jokes and I'll show you a kumquat you can use as
a) a miniature lampshade
b) a paperweight
c) a substitute for a champion horse (if you're a jockey, and said champion horse is zapped from beneath your buttocks by the dual lazer wahoo of crazed alien teen horde)
d) a Jeff Bridges stunt double
AT ONE AND THE SAME TIME!!! (!)

Bernita
I'd love to say I'm envious, but that would be like saying I wish to be trampled to death by hippos modelling themselves on Nazgul (with a hint of Lady Gaga chic).
Cranberries (unless a la plain old simple sauce) are out.

Lisa
If you can bear grossness smoothed by metaphor at a knockdown rate to rival papal successions per millennium, maybe you've struck gold.




Ok — it IS cheap.

Whirlochre said...

Greta
I was never a big fan of gymnastics, but could always be relied upon to hold firm during the Virginia Reel.

As for the sandwiches — hope they fare better next time. Maybe you should go with the Freddie Mercury look.

Whirlochre said...

Whops, sorry — just realised Greta doesn't comment till April 7th 2015.

If I skip getting back to her on the day, can someone remind me?

fairyhedgehog said...

Time travel or simple prescience? If you've got a time machine, Whirl, I wouldn't mind having a go of it.

Whirlochre said...

It's an old joke, Fairy, but I do have a thyme machine.

It's called the garden.

Can't you just tell I've been watching Chucklevision...

fairyhedgehog said...

It sounds more like an Edward Eager book than Chucklevision to me. Maybe that's my age!

Robin S. said...

Who the hell's Greta?

Whirlochre said...

She first appears here on 3/6/2013 following a long discussion between Fairy, Stacy and yourself about stylish trousers.

fairyhedgehog said...

Well you might at least post a link to that discussion! ;)

Whirlochre said...

Sadly, though I can reference the future, I cannot as yet link to it via Windows XP.

You'll just have to stay tuned...

Sarah Laurenson said...

Greta, WwRobin, Fairy, Stacy and Whirl?

Hm. I'll have to come back for that one.