Saturday, January 23, 2010

Guest Blogger Me On Up/Down, Baby


To satisfy their whimsiest of whims, some people cultivate buboes, others grow strange beards that prompt small children to hurl stones and abuse — but I (my friends) am having a Guest Blogger, yes I am.


And YOU (my friends) could be it.

So, the curtains are open, the sash window drawn back, the door held ajar, the trapdoor released, the pit of snakes disabled, and the kung fu gimp-cum-janitor primed with popcorn and dispatched to the nearest cinema on a mule.

Submissions on any subject related to the content of this blog are welcome. Email me at whirlochre@gmail.com by Wednesday 27th, 11.55pm GMT and I’ll pick out and post my favourite. Or my least favourite. Maybe even all of them — hey, it’s my blog.

19 comments:

McKoala said...

'any subject related to the content of this blog'

So, almost anything, really?

Not sure I'll make it into this one - Back to Skool Chaos (tears and traumas) will rule here over the next few days, but looking forward to reading your Chosen One.

fairyhedgehog said...

So, kilts, sock monkeys, donkeys and hairy legs then? Sounds like fun.

Whirlochre said...

McKoala
I'm hoping there will be a decent choice. Maybe if I offer gravy...

Hogaronymus
Now you're just being silly.

fairyhedgehog said...

Whirl, I am never silly. I leave that to others who are better equipped for it.

Ahem.

writtenwyrdd said...

The mind boggles. Having read your blog these many moons, I know I cannot hope to compete with your skewed sense of simile.

I think you better offer to wear pink Crocs. Either that or show us your knees again, hair and all. On second thing, given your dislike of pink Crocs and Crocs in general, I think we definitely need the hairy knees. FHH will greatly appreciate it, I know.

Robin S. said...

I'm thinking...

Whirlochre said...

Hoggy Poggy Pipton
I promise to take your hogliness most seriously in the future. Meanwhile — what about a little Benylin for that tickly cough?

WW
I feel like I've just "stuck in my thumb" and "pulled out a horse". But your Croc request is noted. Not sure about the knees, though.

Wrobin
Yes — and you woke me up...

fairyhedgehog said...

writtenwyrdd is right, Whirl. We need the knees.

Robin S. said...

I agree with WW and FH. I think I'm gonna write a blog post about the joys of men's knees for ya.

Bernita said...

Oh no, I'm not going to sucker in to your spider trap, only to reveal by comparison how your web of scintillations outshine my mundane, pedestrian, buggy prose.
No sir.

Whirlochre said...

Hoggerthy Poggerthy Pumpton
If only my knees were as interesting as those of my Grandad. In his youth, he met with an unfortunate 6 Inch Nail Accident while helping his dad sort out some errant floorboards. It's 41 years now since he died, but I still remember wiggling my fingers in the hole.

Wrobin
And I trust you to keep it clean and above board.

Bernita
Oh, but you know you want to. And remember — there's gravy in it.

fairyhedgehog said...

I've been rereading some of your early posts seeking inspiration. It's been fun.

I have a draft post that I'll try and have ready by Wednesday. If it isn't "right for this blog" then I'll post it on mine!

Whirlochre said...

Some of those early posts are like baby seals lost to a vast ocean: unseen, unheard, forlorn.

And yet, in the darkness came a hog, snuffling through briar and sargasso (to continue the earlier metaphor), to recue them from anonymity.

My first declared visitor!

Whoopee!

fairyhedgehog said...

I'm glad I rescued a baby seal.

Whirlochre said...

Rescued it, taught it to sing, fly.

God, you're a marvel...

writtenwyrdd said...

Whirl, just sent a reply to your email from work. Look for it in your spam or whatever if it's not in your inbox. I can resend from my personal email tonight when I'm home if you need me to. Hope I was helpful.

Whirlochre said...

WW
Message received. We invade tomorrow. Bring bazooka and packed lunch.

jinksy said...

A pit of snakes disabled? Must be where my pink python came from.LOL :)

Whirlochre said...

Morning/afternoon/evening, Jinksy. My own theory about the origins of snakes is that God ate a huge plate of buttered Jacobs' Cream Crackers between bouts of modelling clay people, and they just kind of squeezed out of the holes.