Saturday, December 5, 2009

On The Couch With Sock Monkey

SM: You look down. What’s up?

WO: Are you trying to be funny?

SM: Helpful, actually.

WO: And how so “down”? What’s different about how I look?

SM: Hmmmm. Just a little washed out and grey. Like a pair of underpants that’s been in the wash with a dark towel.

WO: Hey, watch it. I’m always careful like that.

SM: I never said that actually happened. It was an example. My, you’re touchy this morning.

WO: Okay, so I fell off a chair.

SM: Crikey! Lucky you didn’t cut yourself. Armageddon time!

WO: I fell off a chair and banged my nose.

SM: New hobby? Or accident?

WO: What do you think, stupid?

SM: I’ll settle on both.

WO: And I’ll settle on pistols at dawn if you’re not careful.

SM: Whaaat? I only have one arm, remember? I’d be disadvantaged.

WO: You don’t need two arms to hold a pistol. You’re thinking of a rifle.

SM: How do you know what I’m thinking? And anyway, I’m the shrink.

WO: I never said you weren’t.

SM: And I never said you had a BIG FAT NOSE, but you pushed me too hard.

WO: Whoa. Hold it there. You never mentioned the nose thing when you compared my complexion to a pair of dyed underpants.

SM: Call me a charmer.

(Session ends. Consulting room is trashed. Whirl is hired to play the young Hulk Hogan in the forthcoming Hollywood blockbuster, Lycra, Pecs, And CRAP CRAP Hair.)


Kiersten White said...

Best. Session. Ever.

Whirlochre said...

And not at all bad for fifty quid.

Kiersten White said...

Fifty quid, eh? Man. Turns out the Care Bear on the other couch has been WAY overcharging me. Still, name brand and whatnot, you pay extra for that sort of thing.

Whirlochre said...

At least you can pay Care Bears in hugs.

Last time I tried that on SM, he whacked me with his monkey wrench.

fairyhedgehog said...


I'm glad to see the socks in action again.

Whirlochre said...

Geven how nippy it's been of late, so am I.