Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I Take Issue With You, O Classic Pop Lyric


Don't know much about geography


Fine...

Don't know much trigonometry

Riiiiight...

Don't know much about algebra

Okaaaay...

Don't know what a slide rule is for

Whoa! Hold it right there, pal. I dispute that one. Given the evidence so far, I appreciate that you may not know how to USE a slide rule, but quite clearly, in choosing this mathematical convenience tool as an example of your supposed lack of knowledge, you demonstrate that you do, in fact, know what said trig ‘n’ algebra friendly implement is FOR. It’s FOR something you don’t understand. Had you said, for example, pop-up toaster I’d have been much more sympathetic to your heartfelt pleading. As it is, I get the distinct impression that you’re not as dumb as you’re trying to make out. Indeed, I believe you may be trying to cheat your way into my pants. So, in a moment, when you proclaim all that nonsense about a wonderful world, I shall spurn your faux romantic advances on the grounds that in addition to being spectacularly thick, you are a lying, cheating, duplicitous scoundrel who should be locked in a dungeon and forced to live on bread and gruel till 2072.

9 comments:

Kiersten White said...

Umm...do a lot of Classic Pop Singers try to cheat their way into your pants? If so, I can understand your rage. I hate it when people take my pants, too. Especially when you finally find a pair that fits just right, which, at my height, is no mean feat.

Whirlochre said...

I have a similar problem, only at the opposite end of the scale(and I assume here you're adopting the American take on 'pants' rather than the English one).

If I manage to find the right leg length, I end up with an Oliver Hardy waistline, and if I manage to find the right waistline, I end up with a Stan Laurel sans legs leg length.

Short of finding the right clothing store, it looks like my only solutions are:

1) Eat heartily this Christmas.
2) Conduct my affairs on all fours, clad in a horse costume.

Kiersten White said...

Would the second option make you more or less attractive to these rascally, disreputable liars of the Classic Pop Singers variety?

Trace Of The Whinney Aspect said...

!

Chad Of The Galloping Nickelback said...

!!

Todd Of The Impossibly Equine Rundgren said...

!!!

blogless troll said...

you are a lying, cheating, duplicitous scoundrel who should be locked in a dungeon and forced to live on bread and gruel till 2072.

That's pretty harsh, dude. Cut the guy some slack. He spent the last 20 years working on the chain gang.

Whirlochre said...

So he says...

stacy said...

Oh dear. Be gentle with those who try to cheat their way into your pants. Rejection is hard to take. Even for Classic Pop Singers.