Friday, December 4, 2009

Arbre Cadabra

My tree isn’t going up till next weekend.

I never like to start too early, and this year, that means being a little late. Oh, and before you ask “up what?” I should point out that in the run-up to the festive season, Abysswinksback is going to behave like a family blog. So — no pine cone twixt bum cheeks innuendo, if you please.

The great thing about decorating the tree is that everyone can get involved — especially Geoff, who (once again) will be gaffer-taped to a length of bamboo and hoist to the very top with her legs splayed out like a star. I have gold paint, tinsel, and a 100 Watt light bulb, so she’s going to look spectacular.

What’s great also is the annual rummage through the bauble tin for delights from Christmases past. Each year, one or two extra knick knacks get added, and we have pretty much everything going, from the old glass 50s globes that survived being shattered by the buttocks of great-grandparents, to the weird nylon 70s jobs that laddered like a stripper’s tights. But inside this box of wonders, there are a couple of items sadly absent. When I was still in shorts (at 7 — I’m no weirdo), we had a couple of birdees made of felt — a tit and a Robin, as I recall. They attached to the branches of the tree with wire and kept us all company with their silent tweeting right through till 12th night, by which time they’d be dangling upside down, looking thoroughly ridiculous.

No idea where they went.

Maybe Geoff ate them.


Bernita said...


Bernita said...

A favourite Noel at our house sung with childish enthusiasm to the tune of O Tanenbaum (I think) contained the lines "Dogs like to pee/
On Christmas trees...

Whirlochre said...


Kiersten White said...

A family blog, eh? So, your blog itself will behave like a family (loves itself, but whines a lot and sometimes loses patience [okay loses patience a lot]), or you'll treat this as though it were a family blog and post lots of pictures of your son and what you are eating and pictures of you and Girly of Whirly out with huge smiles plastered on your faces as you show us how cool and fun you really are?

Also, naughty Geoff.

Whirlochre said...

I was thinking more along the lines of not saying f*ck, w*nk, tw*t and b*llocks, actually.

Now look what you've done!