Thursday, September 3, 2009

Becalmed, Engruzzled & Thoroughly Up The Spack Pipe


I had high hopes for this morning — an itinerary of worthy deeds including edits, correspondence and phone calls, plus an all-important fifteen minute break to peck at a bar of chocolate and wash a huge mug of coffee round my gullet.


Sadly, all promise of exhilarating craft has withered from view like Keanu Reeves’ once boyish look of innocence.

I can usually put my finger on the source of any such mayomalaise. An irritating buzzard, perhaps; blown in by a late summer storm and hungry for rodents or bird sex. Or maybe a scene from an old John Wayne film, fleetingly glimpsed as I channel hop for the BBC news, which prompts me to holster up and hop round the living room with a cushion gripped between my legs like a proud stallion. Or then again, there’s the distracting army of postmen, meter readers and kumquat salesmen who beat a path to my door to hoover away my precious time with their array of prehensile snouts.

No such luck this morning. I’m at a self-inflicted loss, it seems, pacing idly between rooms with the demeanour of a haunted phantom.

Even my Manual of Bizarre Grunting offers no solace, in spite of the 1001 whoops, shrieks and growls outlined in detail on its pages.

I am as a go-go dancer drained of go — oozing ennui, emanating bluest funk, and ready to be put to the sword.

4 comments:

ril said...

So we have a new Prime Minister here. And now the election is over, his dear wife, the first lady of Japan (if you don't count the emperor's wife who is technically the first lady although the divine royal family hold no official power anymore) has revealed that in her sleep she was transported to Venus on a triangular UFO. And she met Tom Cruise in a previous life. Well, at least they could see eye-to-eye. So yes, my new host Prime Minister, the man who has to pull the economy out of the doldrums, solve the massive pension deficit, fix healthcare and steer us through the imminent massive earthquake, is married to a Class A fruitcake. And you think you've got problem. Hm.

ril said...

I'm not kidding. It's in the news and everything.

Whirlochre said...

I read this first thing today and it's very weird n'est-ce pas? That such an electoral 'ticket' should have passed the test.

As for me, I'm much better today. In hindsight, I suspect I partially succumbed to an early winter bug as Son of Whirl is now sniffling a little. But, man that I am, I threw it off like Steve Vidor tossing Mick McManus into the air.

McKoala said...

Really can't compete with Ril on this one. He just blew my mind.