Saturday, September 26, 2009

The 200th Post Of Joy And Wonder (Includes Prizes)

Stalwart enthusiasts of this blog (and yes, I hear you chanting my name in my dreams as I tango with Morpheus’ hamsters), will remember that I ran a quiz for my 100th post.

A quiz with prizes.

This time round, the deal is similar, only without the quiz. And before you start foaming at the mouth wondering what wondrous treat I have lined up for you in place of a quiz, I have to confess that I’ve got my hands full this weekend with (metaphor alert) a multitude of juggling balls which I am struggling to keep in the air in an entertainingly polyparabolic way (simile alert) like the seat of the unicycle I’m riding has morphed into a rhino’s horn. So, no abyss-goer fodder this time round.*

Yes, I am that awful party host who lays on no food, no drinks, no nibblies, yet still has the audacity to demand everyone come in fancy dress.

So here’s the deal. Quick, simple — like having your ears syringed by Mike Tyson.

To be eligible for an unspecified crap crap crap crap crap prize, simply check into the comments to register a cheery hello. The only stipulation (and what a shame it is that this word came to mean ‘stipulation’. Could have been much better deployed as a medical complaint, like putting your hip out; or a word for describing that thing ants do to each other with their antennae as they’re raiding your larder for globules of damson jelly) is that you must include the word UNDULATE in your comment. No need to incorporate it into a witty sentence (though you know I want it, aaaaah, I want it baby). Just leave it dangling if need be. Dangling like a sloth.

This opportunity to fulfil your potential as a waste of cyberspace will remain open until the next post appears, whereupon I will select a winner by drawing names from a hat. De-lurkers get two tries. Previous prize winners may be treated to something especially crap if they get lucky again.

Meanwhile — have a fun weekend.

* And no hotline.


Kiersten White said...

Whirl, your whimsical word usage undulates from type in the most delightfully absurd way.

Ah, crud, I used undulates, not undulate. I'll try again.

What do I wish I could do to my library books? Undulate them, of course.

Wait, no, that makes no sense...

Your posts undulate with the fury of a sloth who has unknowingly contracted pink-eye from its treemate.

Oh, forget it. Here is my formal application to register one hello, classified as cheery, with an added undulate to fulfill all stipulations. Registration fee is in the mail.

And now I simply must go keep those ants from stipulating each other because really I don't want that kind of behavior undulating in my kitchen.

(Also, I like you very much and am glad you have posted 200 posts of undulating delight.)

fairyhedgehog said...

Damn! Kiersten has written such a witty comment that anything I say is going to look as feeble and pathetic as a week-old kitten missing its mummy.

Congratulations on reaching 200! And thank you for another wonderful competition, sorry I mean not-competition.

I'm worried that you can hear me chanting your name in your dreams. I thought I was keeping much quieter than that.

Oh, and undulate. Q. Why did the caterpillar undulate?

That's it. You'll have to supply the witty punchline yourself.

Scarlet-Blue said...

The Undulate ray (Raja undulata) is a species of ray and cartilaginous fish generally found along the southern coasts of England and Ireland in depths of about 10 to 30 metres but have been found as deep as 200 metres.
Many congratulations on your 200th!!!

Robin S. said...

My brain cells undulate in a happy dance tingly sorta way every time I think of you and your abyss, winking back, in and on this unique
blogworld you've created. And then I click, and I'm never disappointed - unless you're on vacation.

writtenwyrdd said...

I for one am glad there's no quiz as I've been a baaaad blog reader lately and would likely fail and be bounced out on my un-Tyson-syringed ear!

UNDULATE har har har! I do love the sound of that word. Combining images of undulate with your writing style and my mind boggles with the million dollar question: What would Whirl write?

Mary said...

Congrats on reaching 200!! :)

I have long held the belief that no food at all is better than miniature burgers or anything on sticks. One cannot engage in entertaining conversation when a canapé is undulating on the tongue.

Whirlochre said...

Having dulated excessively over the weekend, I now find I can't undulate.

Keep 'em coming...

fairyhedgehog said...

Does that mean you're entering your own competition? You might end up having to keep the crap[to the power 5] prize.

Whirlochre said...

That would be like a chimp knitting a sweater out of its own hair.

Talking of which — when is Clint Eastwood going to make another film with a big ape in it?

Whirlochre said...

Competition now closed.

Whimsical beret full of names at the ready.

Announcement to follow.