Monday, April 27, 2009

On The Couch With Sock Monkey

SM: So, tell me about it.

WO: Dunno. I think I’m losing the plot.

SM: Your life is a novel?

WO: Not sure.

SM: A film?

WO: Maybe.

SM: And does it have an ending?

WO: Don’t be so morbid.

SM: No, I mean, do you have any dreams for the future?

WO: I wouldn’t mind another hamster.

SM : I was thinking, more like BIG dreams.

WO: A BIG hamster? I could save the world. Or destroy it.

SM: I think I see where this is going now. Let me just consult my library...

WO: “Megalomania”? Isn’t that in Spain?

SM: Hey, when you’re in the mood, it can be anywhere baby. So tell me, which of these hamsters do you like best?

WO: They’re hamsters?

SM: Yes.

WO: So why are they dressed like that?

SM: In analysis, we call them ‘types’.

WO: But why the hamsters? Why not just go with the types?

SM: You bought it up.

WO: But it’s your damn book.

SM: Just answer the question.

WO: Okay, if I had to pick one...

SM: Which you do.

WO: Watch it, buster. I’m the one who’s paying here.

SM: Said the potential megalomaniac.

WO: Ah! That’s it.

SM: Which one?

WO: Spain.

SM: No, which hamster, stupid.

WO: Number three.

SM: Three. The magic number. I see.

WO: So now you’re telling me it isn’t about types either. Are you making this up as you go along?

SM: Ssssh. I’m interpreting...

WO: You’re an anus...

SM: To tell you the truth, what I think is—

WO: Yipes! What was that?

SM: My Proboscis Monkey Buzzer. Time’s up.

WO: Already?

SM: That’s how it works.

WO: Like a cliffhanger.

SM: Like your unresolved problem. Same time next week?

WO: I suppose.

SM: We’ll continue then, then.

WO: You just said ‘then’ twice.

SM: You can take the Fess Up Hat off now Mr Ochre...


Scarlet-Blue said...

I wonder what a giant hamster would have to say about all this? Hmmmm???

Robin S. said...

First, I have to say, thanks for the stripy socks pic. I have fond memories of those socks.

Second...plot-wise, if you're flailing in the stream-of-life breeze post-novel draft completion, post-birthday, post-Dad-dying, I'd say you're about right where any sane man would be at this time, and so, it may be just a case of hanging on until the stream subsides, and in the meanwhile, keeping your friends close. And remembering you have them.

Bevie said...

I'm with Robin, Whirl.

On the other hand,

"SM: No, I mean, do you have any dreams for the future?
WO: I wouldn’t mind another hamster.

Something about that is just so charming.


Hang in there.

Anna Claire said...

Brilliant and funny as always. Best of luck with your novel. I have a feeling it is genius ;)

Whirlochre said...

We'll soon find out. Giant hamsters are on their way. Prom.

I hope I've not alarmed you with this post. Me and Sock Monkey are both fine. May even be sharing a bath together.

Anna Claire
At the moment, I'll settle for quite good — but I'll keep you all updated on progress once the re-writes start.

Aerin said...

*swoon* socks pic and a monkey....

Geoff said...

And a cactus. Nobody's mentioned that wretched thing yet, curse its prickly whatsits...

Natalie said...

Huh, I didn't know things were so...Okay, I have no clue what any of that meant. I'm going to plead mushy brain due to excessive editing.

Aerin said...

Geoff, I figured the cactus was a phallic reference or offering to the Hamster Gods and that either way it wouldn't be polite to mention.

JaneyV said...

I love those socks! I may post an homage to them soon. Whirl does SM have his arm back on? I can't tell the way he's cuddling the cactus.

Sock Monkey Shrink is very helpful isn't he? It's nice that he'll bathe with you too. It's always a bugger to reach that bit between your shoulder blades.

Kiersten said...

Does the Sock Monkey have an open appointments in the near future?

Whirlochre said...

Phallic reference? Have you seen that thing?!!!

Sadly, Sock Monkey is still sans arm. But he cares, and that's what counts.

For a small fee, Sock Monkey will transform your life with his motivational chittering...

and finally...Natalie
rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb...

Bevie said...

"May even be sharing a bath together."

I have a bad feeling that's more information than I care to know.

Geoff said...

That monkey's other arm is toast...

McKoala said...

SM: Shouldn't you be writing something?

WO: It's OK. She's in Disneyland.

SM: Not any more.

(shredding noise as koala claws emerge from SM disguise).

Straight back on to high threat for you.

Whirlochre said...

WO: Waugh! I am undone!

SM: Me too!

writtenwyrdd said...

I've missed the socks. Girly of Whirly must have been holding them for ransom--oh wait, those are her socks, aren't they?