Tuesday, March 24, 2009

When Atrophy Turns To Haemorrhage

Curse facial hair! Curse it till every last follicle pops from my flesh! Even if it ruins my dinner!

I've had it with shaving.

Somewhere in a slaughterhouse in a part of the world whose citizens have less regard for the wellbeing of animals than the sanctity of their sharp instrument sharpening rituals, there are heaps upon heaps of beheaded birds with necks easier on both the eye and the white shirt collar than my own currently slashed specimen.

Every morning since Friday, I've had to swim for the toothpaste.


Aerin said...


And I mean that in a sincere and caring way.

Kiersten said...

My legs are right there with you. At least in Utah they got to hibernate safely beneath long pants for the winter, content in their hairiness.

Curse this perfect, year-round-capri weather.

Natalie said...

You could, uh, stop shaving. Go Thoreau and all that. Live by a pond, ramble, not shave, steal a few birds form that slaughter house for some good eats. Apparently that's "the life."

Whirlochre said...

I might try that Thoreau thing, Natalie. Geoff is chasing her tail as I type, so I'm sure to want for no birdy-tweets.

As for Mrs Sun-Kiss'd. Huh. Any excuse to rub the glorious weather in our faces.

And, Aeein — that was the nicest Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww anyone has ever said to me. Sniff.

fairyhedgehog said...

You could try taking estrogen, although I think that mostly just weakens the hair. If you add in Androcur that might help.

Or you could try waxing. I hear it's not at all painful. Not that I've tried it myself, you understand, but still.

Actually, Natalie's suggestion is starting to look better and better.

McKoala said...

Calling all vampires. Special offer going at Whirl's place.

JaneyV said...

Hubby has just shaved his face fungus off. He was heading off to Seville for a week and he didn't fancy getting half a face tan (or sunburn as is more accurate). It's like springtime has arrived for sure when his face comes back.

That said I do like his hairy mush. I don't like poncy goatees though. Only the full Grizzly Adams.

Hubby does inform me that its a nuisance during hayfever season or when you are drinking frothy beer. So be warned!

Whirlochre said...

The last time I tried oestrogen, I got propositioned in a bar by a eunuch.

As for face fungus, I may have to go for a few days with a chin like George Michael will probably have some time in 2025 when he finally lets himself go.

The vampires will have to suffice as a eunuch deterrent till I'm sorted.

Robin S. said...

Sooooo. Have ya shaved yet?

Whirlochre said...

I'm pleased to report that my skin is back to its usual colour and texture and could pass for a baby's bottom (left out in the rain for 40-odd years).