Monday, March 9, 2009

Tasty Snack — Or Corporate Self-Annihilation?

Is it me, or does every single one of Walkers' brave new potato crisp flavours taste, smell and prompt the gagging reflex like cornified husks of poodle rectum flesh doused in Beelzebub's bile?

I demand that Gary Lineker be compulsorily vapourised.


Carrie Harris said...

I've not had these. I just want to know how you know about the poodle rectum flesh thing.

Because here I thought I had a unique idea for a flavor, and now it's ruined.

Whirlochre said...

Hi Carrie.

So far I've had Builders' Breakfast, Cajun Squirrel, the Hoi Sin one, Chili & Chocolate and Fish n Chips, and apart from the vaguely eggy aftertaste of the first one, they're all, without exception, more likely to have had their origin up a dog's backside than a dog's backside itself.

Truly, truly vile.

Am I on a soapbox here, or is it the e numbers?

Natalie said...

I have no idea what these are, but you've convinced me never to eat one. I just hope I don't accidentally stumble on one.

Whirlochre said...

Here's the link...

writtenwyrdd said...

any number of nummy and not-so-much british goodies can be found at or some silly name that's similar. I forget. You can do a quick search for british imported foods. (Hell I could have done one already if I'd a mind. But I'm lazy. So I didn't.) You are the weakest link. Good bye. (Ack! I'm starting to channel that woman what's her name!)

Robin S. said...

I do remember the last time I was there, last summer, we bought one of those big bags of snack-sized bags of various Walker's flavors - and they tasted like chemicals. Smoky chemicals. I realize that, as an American, I shouldn't have been so weirded out by chemical-tasting snacks, but the regular Walkers are so damn good, I was disappointed.

Whirlochre said...

Hmm, Anne Robinson.

Crispy, and probably full of chemicals.

Why didn't Walkers pick her as a flavour?

JaneyV said...

Whirl - as I've pretty much given up watching telly I'd never heard of these either but I have to say none of them are grabbing my fancy.

I'll take you word for it about the poodle's arse though and continue to avoid them.

Thank for saving me from myself.

McKoala said...

Suddenly I remember why I left the country.

I do miss Double Deckers, though.

Whirlochre said...

Double Deckers? Yuck.

I'm not sure they make those any more, so no hope of tempting you back to the UK on that score.

So — what's hot in Oz in the crunchy snacks department? Besides termites?

sylvia said...

I have lived in and around the UK for over 10 years and I still do not understand the bizarre atrocities that you people insist on inflicting on crisps.

If you want roast chicken, go out to eat, for gods sake. But roast chicken flavoured sprinkles on thin slices of root vegetable is just ... not normal.

Crisps should have salt on them. If you are feeling very exotic, you could sprinkle on a bit of paprika. That is all.

Whirlochre said...

I agree with you in principle, Sylvia, but my problem is that chicken is my favourite flavour.

That said, the new chicken & thyme flavour (along with all the exotic basamic vinegary new flavours) is vile.

Heavens. I do believe that for the first time in many a comments trail, we may be on the verge of an intellectual discussion here.

McKoala said...

Hm, our local furriners treat shop seems to have access to a private stock of Double Deckers, so I buy them there sometimes at vast expense. Sad news for me if they are to be no more.

As for the crisp flavour argument.

Honey soy chicken flavour on thick oven roasted crisps. I rest my case.

Whirlochre said...

In the mid-80s, some local entrepreneur manufactured a cheesy wotsity snack that was all the rage in the pubs for a few months.

Aptly named Trumps, these crunchy potato nuggets were jam-packed with ingredients specifically designed to make you fart.

I kid you not.