Thursday, January 1, 2009

Have Your Say! Win A Prize!


According to my dashboard (on Blogger, not this zoomy whizzy thing I've been flying up and down the stairs in since Christmas Day), the post after next is number 100.


So — it's over to you, folks. Load me up with suggestions via this comment trail and I promise to go with my favourite — though I may, of course, misinterpret your meaning utterly.

And, yes — there will be a full honours Abysswinksback crap crap crap crap crap prize for this.

Think of this as my New Year Sale.

79 comments:

moonrat said...

Happy New Year, Whirlocre. It's been so nice to "meet" you this year!

moonrat said...

you have comment moderation, but i think i forgot an H in the above message. hmmm. let me give you some spare Hs in this message:

H H H H H H H H H H

Whirlochre said...

Thanks for dropping by, Moonrat — and good to have met you too.

As for the spare Hs, I've combined them with a bunch of As and Os to create a post-Christmas Santa-style laugh which I promise to deploy the next time someone tickles my tummy — so thanks for that also.

Robin S. said...

Whatever post you do, it has to have some of that gorgeous Whirl voice in it.

Truth be told, I'd say a kilt-socks-voice post, perhaps reading and commenting on a favorite passags from your almost completed Whirl Work, would work for me.

Not that I'm picky or anything, babycakes!

Whirlochre said...

I've not been called babycakes since the last time someone bit my cherry off.

OK — that's got the ball rolling.

Robin S. said...

I can't imagine anyone biting off your cherry...


Cherry, huh? Biting?

writtenwyrdd said...

Ah! A White Elephant from Across the Pond might be interesting--so long as it isn't that squished packet of crisps beneath the sofa cushions.

Have a happy new year!

As far as suggestions for #100 go, you come up with such bizarre writing challenge ideas I suggest that you come up with another one. Any off the cuff version will do; you manage beautifully off the cuff.

writtenwyrdd said...

*raised eyebrows* Bit your...cherry off??? Just. Do not. Explain that.

Kiersten said...

Oh, yes, I've got to throw my vote very, very strongly in the voice section.

Can you host a gameshow?

Kiersten said...

Also, spiffy new background. Very...pink.

Natalie said...

Whatever it is, there's gotta be a few ninjas. With bo staffs.

Kiersten said...

Oooh, an ode to eyebrows. Verbal or written.

AC said...

I'm with Robin--let's hear you speak in your lovely British-y voice again. Doesn't matter what; you can read instructions on a bottle of cough syrup if that floats your boat ;)

Mary said...

Anything that includes a kilt over tartan trousers, Geoff, an angle-poise lamp, a fountain pen, and pink blancmange from a rabbit shaped mould would be wonderful!

fairyhedgehog said...

I'd rather like to see Geoff doing some more posting. Did you ever tell us how she got her name?

If we're having pictures, I want a kilt piccie.

If you're doing a voice thingie I want some warning so I can get the smelling salts in.

Maybe you could do a YouTube of you reading to Geoff in your kilt?

Aerin said...

Oh DAMN Robin's suggestion is good. Makes my idea for you to examine the existential ramifications of the avocado pale in comparison....

How many times can we suggest something? I'm going to go nudge McK, I'm sure she's got some excellent ideas.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Socks? I want more of that bare leg! With or without the glued on cherry.

Happy New Year, WO!

Whirlochre said...

This is all looking good so far and I'd be happy to go along with most of these, although, as I said, some rule bending is mandatory.

Keep 'em coming in, folks. I'm upping the stakes by promising a crap crap crap crap crap crap prize...

Kiersten said...

Dangit! I wish everyone else would stop contributing. I really really like to win. Oh well.

How about a guest post from one of your WIP characters? I'd be very interested in what Dann-Glarr has to say.

Kiersten said...

Ooh! Ooh! Video of you swinging that two-handed sword around your head!

Kiersten said...

Apparently I have a lot of unfulfilled desires when it comes to your blog.

Could you read some of my writing aloud? I think that would make my whole year.

Whirlochre said...

The competition hots up with a triple whammy from the Mormon Corner...

writtenwyrdd said...

But wait! What about Conan the potato? Why not bring him back for a guest post?

Whirlochre said...

Zombie tubers? You kidding?

Mary said...

I know I’m not being ultra competitive when I say I love Kiersten’s idea for the two-handed sword. Could that be incorporated with a little tartan and some pink blancmange?

Whirlochre said...

The only pink blacmange round these parts is the swathe of wobbly stuff obscuring my rectus abdominis. But I could dig out some jelly.

Keep 'em coming, folks.

Mary said...

That would be grand.

JaneyV said...

Honestly I get over-run by rellies and all this goes down without me!

Umm... I propose an Ode to Whirl. The winner to have their creation read aloud by the man himself wearing a kilt.

I like the snazzy sock background. While I was celebrating last night I had an overwhelming sense of deja vu. So strong was it, in fact, that I took a photo. I may even post it tomorrow.

writtenwyrdd said...

I guess I should have said ghost post then? What do zombie potatos eat?

Robin S. said...

Yep. A reading of something, on YouTube, with Whirl in his kilt, and a little Geoff on the side. I believe that's just what the doctor ordered to cure any and all ills, babycakes.

Whirlochre said...

Tell us about your favourite memory?

Tell us about your greatest adventure?

Tell us about the day you fell in love with a mermaid?

Nope.

Dress up in silly clothes. With a cat. And a potato. And some blancmange.

sigh...

fairyhedgehog said...

You can tell us about the day you fell in love with a mermaid, while wearing a kilt and cuddling Geoff.

Come on, Whirl, you're the King of multi-tasking!

Kiersten said...

Hey Whirl, how about you tell us your favorite memory about the time you fell in love with a mermaid while on your greatest adventure?

Or, better yet, how about you tell us about something true...like your days as an improv actor? Or your days as a member of MI6?

Robin S. said...

Also don't forget - it's gotta be a real live Whirl vid.

Whirlochre said...

Keep 'em coming, folks.

Geoff said...

Go on holiday, curse you.

Aerin said...

Apparently I have a lot of unfulfilled desires when it comes to your blog.

Okay, I think Kiersten just edged ahead of Robin, if you take that sentence and bend it to your whims.

And - poor Geoff - perhaps the one who actually needs a holiday -

All right, back to seriousness. For your 100th post, how about the requisite school essay "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"? No? Top Pet Peeves (or, what makes Whirl pissy?) Wait, that's your blog already. Okay, I quit.

Aerin said...

Favorite mixed drink? Favorite candy? The story of the bitten cherry?

No, really, I'm done.

Aerin said...

A tribute to Socks in History? Who's your favorite (sorry, favourite) Muppet? A treatise on the future of publishing? An ode to your adoring fans?

Okay, I really am done.

Whirlochre said...

OK, Aerin, the bar has been upped
the labrador-alsatian cross enpupped
the Ass Of Possibility shamelessly whupped
all unwedded -tial suffixes blissfully nupped.

Geoff said...

Yeah. And I just puked.

writtenwyrdd said...

speaking of cat puke, the realtors dragged a last-minute party to view our really messy and disgusting house at the last minute. And guess what the cat did? Yep, right at the top of the stairs.

Glad my mother was the one to be there and not me!

Whirlochre said...

When my parents were selling the last-but-one house we all lived in together, a husband-and-wife buyer combo arrived just as I was finishing off in the shower.

As my Mum & Dad were showing off the hall (adjacent to 8'x6' bathroom with tiled shower unit — and duck), saying something like, "and this is the hall...", I emerged, nekkid from the bathroom, and after the briefest of rabbit-in-headlights pauses, hurled myself the short distance from the bathroom door to my bedroom, hollering, "...and this is their flying son..."

Needless to say, the sale flopped.

Geoff said...

Typical. Someone checks in with a great cat story and what do you do? Write about yourself.

I'm thinking: February...

Aerin said...

Geoff needs a drink. Do they make catnip martinis?

Whirlochre said...

Interestingly, if you go to www.treatsforkittys.com, you'll see that the people responsible for the catnip martinis also do a range of flea collars with matching bells and drink kegs.

Robin S. said...

Hee. The shower scene.



Hee.


P.S. Where's the seated legs in kilt and pink socks YouTube with the handsome man and his handsomer voice tellin' us a bedtime story, and stroking his Geoff?

Shona Snowden said...

OK, I want a quiz that is teetering on the edge of respectability (especially for Kiersten and Natalie).

Questions to be asked by yourself in your most velvety tones and illustrated by appropriately Whirly photos, at least one of which must feature the kilt and the socks.

Whirlgirls and boys to write in with either correct or ridiculous answers, accuracy and humour to be judged by said Whirl.

In the event of a tie, Geoff to be responsible for the deciding question. Plus sarky remarks throughout.

writtenwyrdd said...

Oh lordy, he SCANNED THE SOCKS!!!

Evil one, I bow to your wierdness.

writtenwyrdd said...

Whirl, your story tops mine. At least they didn't open the bathroom door while you were, um, in the middle of things.

Kiersten said...

The suspense is killing me.

Oh, hey, you could write a death since in which suspense very literally kills me. Or someone else, if you don't want me dead.

Which I hope is the case.

Mom In Scrubs said...

Whirl, as long as mucus is not involved, I'll read ANYTHING you write.

But seriously, I re-read the Jabberwocky poem by Lewis Carroll lately, and I think you should do something along those lines, incorporating some of your local favorites like kilts, socks, Geoff...also Protrudio, pugs, Directly Outside, Conan, Vomit...etc, etc.

Your writing has much portmanteaux, and nonsense words...which is partly why I'm a HUGE fan! I think you and Carroll would have gotten along swimmingly.

Then, of course, you must read it. Sans phlegm, please!

Mom In Scrubs said...

I'm not usually a big Wiki-fan, but this one is pretty good:

Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky

"'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe."

Come on Whirl...give it a whirl!!

Whirlochre said...

Hey — there's enough for three or four posts here and when the moment arrives, I'm going to have a hard time choosing who will be the lucky winner of the crap crap crap crap crap prize.

Not sure when this will be, however, as I'm back at my desk this week and there's still the problem of saying farewell to my Dad. Plus — Geoff has come over all phantom mouse and made one heckuva mess of the pantry. The only stroking she'll be getting this week is with a baseball bat, and as I don't actually own one of those, that's another thing to do.

Other news just in is that Club Whirl got stuck on a train back from London last night after a day trip to stalk H.R.H. It was the classic horrendous travel scene — we apologise, but due to the Gods raining down doom and misery, all trains out of Euston for this evening are cancelled..., and, as ever, the cheerless staff of Virgin Trains were silent and invisible as dark elves. Somehow, we managed to get back thanks to a series of accidents via Marylebone, Banbury, Coventry (twice) and Rugby, arriving home at 1am in the snow.

Normally I'd have gone straight to bed, but for some odd reason, I had to make myself a plate of eggy bread and drink a can of Stella. At one thirty in the morning.

Oh, and while I'm on the subject of congealing albumen, no, MIS, there will be no mucus involved.

Robin S. said...

Sorry about your bitchin' bad road trip! Especially in the snow. Ewww.

(But does all this talk talk stuff in the comments above yours mean I'm not getting my original YouTube wish? Just checking.)

writtenwyrdd said...

Sounds like a lovely screwed up mess on your trip home, Whirl.

by the way, I've been meaning to ask you the provenance of your screen name. Is the Whirlochre from flushing of vomit or something? The results of too many nights out late with the boys at the pub?

blogless troll said...

How about a stop-motion movie featuring Conan the Potato (voiced by you) with the plot loosely based on all of the above suggestions.

Kiersten said...

Excuses, excuses.

Completely legitimate excuses, but still. You've got a very demanding readership.

JaneyV said...

I used to take that train out of Euston when I lived in Berhamsted. My dad missed the stop once (when visiting from Ireland) because he was chatting and ended up in Milton Keynes. Apparently he didn't realise the fast train was actually fast. Obviously stories of our rail system have spread worldwide.

The eggy bread sounds yum although I'd have had it with tea.

I have to say I'm favouring McK's right now. Although the kilt and voice thing sounds sweet too.

Whirlochre said...

It's probably worth mentioning that, for technical reasons, I'm not able to supply any videos at this stage. But everything else is being given serious consideration, and I'm busily trilling my fingers through the atticload of crap crap crap crap crap from which the forthcoming prize will be selected/dredged.

Not sure I'll manage another bona fide post this week (life! grrr!), so keep 'em coming — along with anything else you fancy. Giraffes would be nice.

McKoala said...

Hee, hee. I know the origin of the
Whirl name. I can be bribed.

I'm also seconding that fabulous quiz idea! Obviously. No videos required. Humiliating still photographs will do fine.

Whirlochre said...

McKoala

Truly art thou furry, but cruel —
like the mould
on Oliver's bowl of gruel.

blogless troll said...

Then how about just the script of a stop-motion movie featuring Conan the Potato (voiced by you....

Ello said...

Just wanted to say I'd like the crap crap crap CRAP prize. That's much more interesting than a gift card! ;o)

writtenwyrdd said...

Whirl 98364gt-9876? Are you sure you got all the digits correct?

Whirlochre said...

Sure — and I used all eleven of 'em to type it out.

writtenwyrdd said...

Wouldn't that be 21, then?

writtenwyrdd said...

Oh, wait. The socks make that rather impossible, don't they?

Whirlochre said...

True. And a passing alien has just lopped my left hand off with its katana. So that leaves 6.

Chris Eldin said...

More leg photos...

Kiersten said...

I was all set to write a comment where I told you that I'm boycotting your next contest since it leads to such a delay in new posts...then I remembered that whole "real life" thing you're dealing with right now, so I decided to be nice instead.

Hi, Whirl. Hope things are going well ; )

Robin S. said...

McK, spill the Whirl beans, please.
Don't know why I never thought to ask before...

Whirlochre said...

Yes — please do. I can't remember what I said...

laughingwolf said...

newbie here, but have seen you around...

as for ideers, how about info on making a good cappuccino?

Whirlochre said...

Hi, LW. You ought to be right at home here amongst all the giggling kitties...

Whirlochre said...

I can confirm that a winner has been chosen.

The next few days are looking like a cack fest from hell, so I'm not expecting to deliver on my 100th post much before the middle of next week.

But stick around.

It should be fun.

fairyhedgehog said...

It should be fun.

With you involved, Whirl, it always is.

Kiersten said...

You horrible tease you.

Mary said...

I’ve missed the deadline, but still...

A pitch:

While mapping the coast of the Caspian Sea, Geoff, an award-winning feline cartographer, is kidnapped by a terrorist cell of kilted giraffes that trade her for arms and jelly.