Friday, December 19, 2008

I'd Sex You Up But I Gotta Clear My Throat Of Phlegm, Baby


OK, here's the deal.


Another vocal wocal thingy as suggested by the ever wonderful Robin S and augmented for fiendishness by the furball we all know and love as McKoala.

The idea is a simple one: to read out a list of instructions from something terribly ordinary like a packet of indigestion tablets and sex it up big time.

So — I've gone with the handy Paracetamol tablets that have been preventing me from sneezing my head off all week. Not sure if this is full on sex however, as it was all I could do to get to the end without coughing my lungs up — but to ensure those of you desirous of palpitations are not disappointed, I've enlisted the aid of a 70s Throb God to help me out a little.

21 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

I think I've taken too many parecetamol, I'm having palpitations.

The word "doctor" never sounded so sexy!

Kiersten said...

Honestly, I couldn't listen to most of these, as they made me feel like I needed to go speak with my clergyman...

Yours, however, just made me giggle. A lot.

sylvia said...

Haha, I used music too. You are definitely breathier though.

I definitely experienced a side effect or two ;)

Chris Eldin said...

This is hysterical!! Love the swelling of the lips. I like it when my lips swell.
hehehehe
I just had to be a bit naughty.
Love the music background in yours also!!
:-)

Whirlochre said...

It's a surprisingly suggestive piece of text, and on my 1st run-through there are a couple of very breathy sections where it sounds like I'm having a wank, so, in the interest of decency, I've submitted that one to the guys who run the Seductive Housewives 4U premium rate phone line in the hope of getting a tenner to pay for Geoff's Christmas dinner. Oh, and they entered me in a raffle to win a 2" by 2" clipping of one of Big Daddy's leotards, so it's looking like I may be in for a great start to 2009...

McKoala said...

Yes, I agree with Kiersten. I wasn't sure you were going to survive to the end. Your accent is stronger when you're sick!

Robin S. said...

Oh my God! Barry freaking White and 'unexpected bruising'. (Yeah, I understand, I've had unexpected bruising before. It's the positioning. All in the positioning, eh?)

This is absolutely WONDERFUL!!!

writtenwyrdd said...

You seemed to have found your niche, Whirl. "consult your doctor" never sounded so good!

Feel better soon.

Phoenix said...

Excuse me while I go turn off the lights, light the candles and listen to this again. Twice.

Whirlochre said...

Hey Phoenix, thanks for reminding me about candles. It's the last of my Christmas shopping tomorrow and Mood Flames had bypassed the list...

JaneyV said...

Your comment about the suggestiveness of the text and what it sounded like you were doing, made me laugh so hard that I had a coughing fit so extreme I think lung was expelled. Asphyxiation and a good laugh - you can't beat it.

I love your voice Whirl. Swollen lips and rashes never sounded so good!

Whirlochre said...

There's definitely a very fine line between sounding sexy and constipated, too.

writtenwyrdd said...

I tried to figure out Audacity and record something but I am completely clueless. But I was going to read the phone book.

Whirlochre said...

We need you next time round, WW...

pacatrue said...

The music was key. I wish I was sick. Oh, wait I am a little.

Whirlochre said...

Hurrah! A furry animal!

AC said...

To me, honestly, anything in a British accent is totally sexy ;)

Whirlochre said...

Hurrah! A puddy cat!

Nice to see you, AC. I noticed your whiskers britling amongst my favourites but assumed you were sleeping on the hearth.

If you're up for any festive cat action (especially that which also features swashbuckling potatoes), stick around.

Mary said...

Skin rashes and allergic reactions. Yes please! I had no idea they could sound so good.

Whirlochre said...

I was tempted to pop out and buy some Bum Cream but, frankly — who needs it?

Whirlochre said...

A lot of people seem to be dropping by today from LiveJournal.

What can I say? Maybe next time I'll shave my legs to TV On The Radio.

Meanwhile, I notice some of you are raiding your bathroom cabinets and cranking up your mikes. If you have any success, let me know via this comment trail, and I'll post the links.