Monday, December 29, 2008

140 Pages Of Thrills & Spills - Plus Or Minus The Odd Near-Death Experience And A Hint Of Levitation

Fans of checking in to witness my WIPometer count slowly but surely doing sweet FA will no doubt have noticed that over the past few weeks, I’ve excelled myself in the Doing Zilch department. Partly, this is due to the onslaught of festive responsibilities (dressing up as Santa, combing the Christmas tree, clearing the house of carbonised Yorkshire pudding smoke etc), the cruel hand of fate turning out not to be the Full House we expected, and the simple fact that the two outstanding chapters constituting the missing 5000 words can’t really be written until I’ve gone through what I have so far and checked a few plot twists for consistency.

My one joy this week (okay, okay — burning the Yorkshire puddings on purpose was fun) is that I’ve printed out the whole manuscript. There are gaps and gaffes and gruffes and grawpes, and twenty-odd paragraphs that need rewriting lodged in there among the 250 footnotes for spelling, punctuation, consistency, timing, weather, mood, flan ingredients etc, but for the most part (the revising part, incorporating a couple of chapter writes), I suppose what I’m saying is that it’s finished as far as word counts are concerned. At this stage, adding up the words is a meaningless exercise.

In an ideal world, my next move would be to hire a bunch of dancing girls to squirt warm milk and honey onto my naked flesh as I writhe in a bathtub full of Baileys Irish Cream, stuffing my face with spicy samosas lock myself away in a bunker and devote every gurgle of skin pore geyser to bashing the whole thing (and it does look lovely now it’s all printed out) into shape, but as my hands are pretty much tied for the next few weeks, and my revision skills on a par with the telepathic prowess of the world’s least intelligent slug, my first week of January deadline/threshold/zenith no longer looks like a working target. The momentum, however, is with me. I’ll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, here’s my celebratory pic...


JaneyV said...

My daughter has those socks - only they've got little Piglet heads sewn onto the sides!

I think Whirl's Novel looks amazing sitting there all printed out and everything. I am impressed beyond measure. I actually visited my own WIP yesterday and had a look at my revised plan and was pleasantly surprised by it. I feel a bit of enthusiasm seeping back into the old thing again.

I hope one day to be at that paper and pen revising stage. You give me hope Whirl - you really do.

writtenwyrdd said...

The Socks are Back!!!!

I do so love those socks, Whirl. Glad to hear you have made so much progress. Keep at it. And I'd go and write the ending anyhow before rereading.

Hve you got a working title for th eopus magnus?

McKoala said...

'Tis the pink stripey socks! Be still my furry heart.

freddie said...

I miss the naked legs, but the green vertical stripes with red/pink horizontal ones are a nice touch.

Dave King said...

Ah, well, the pic says it all!

Mom In Scrubs said...

Oh my, the socks are FAB-U-LOUS!!

Dancing girl fantasy aside (I can't stand Baileys), it seems you've come a long way from the wee Whirl I came to know just a year or so ago.

Put the WIP down. DOWN. And raise a glass or two to the New Year. It'll be waiting for you on the other side.


Kiersten said...

Hooray for Whirl's Novel! Hooray for fuzzy pink socks! Hooray for Snoopy mugs and gigantic teddy bears! Hooray for momentum and getting ever closer to actually, really truly finishing!

Hooray for saying hooray to excess!

Hooray for a sink full of dirty dishes and a week's worth of cleaning to catch up on!

Wait, now I'm confusing our lives. Anyway, wow, enough with the hoorays. This is great to hear, Whirl, and I'm excited for the new stage you've hit. Hope things are going well in Whirl Towers ; )

Aerin said...

words fail me to respond to this post

Whirlochre said...

Just checking in to say Wahey!

Shame I couldn't have found my old paisley shirt for the photo, but I do have several pairs of tartan trousers which might feature in future posts — maybe if I ever land an agent.

Mary said...

Your novel looks lovely, and such a treat to see those socks again!

The end is in sight... I second writtenwyrdd’s advice to write it before rereading.

Can’t wait for the tartan trousers!

Whirlochre said...

OK, chapter 2 (revised) here I come.

And — joy of joys — the trousers still fit me (as long as I don't try to sit down or breathe).

Oh — and only 2 days till 2009, folks.

Any resolutions?

fairyhedgehog said...

Whirl, your fashion sense is ineffable.

No, that doesn't mean "can't be effed" just in case anyone was wondering. Although that's fairly appropriate too.

Glad you've got on so well with the WIP.

Anonymous said...

I resolve to not wear pink stripey socks lest we be confused for each other. Sure. It could happen.


Kiersten said...

Find myself some of those socks.

Sarah Laurenson said...

I echo what has been said and will truly echo Kiersten by adding - Hooray for burnt Yorkshire pudding and Hooray for flan recipes. Good to see the almost finished work next to the famous socks.

Whirlochre said...

Ineffable is one of those good words that actually sounds bad.

As for the WIP, I have a few days to see in the New Year and dig a festoon of shrubbery from my Dad's garden, then I'm donning my deep sea divers' uniform big time.

Robin S. said...

Hey! It's The Socks!

I'm with ya, Whirl. I was going great guns on our time away last week, and on this past Sunday, but yesterday and today - no way in hell. I've been working my ass off (at work) and am behind on my schedule. It's that time of the year thing. Hoping to catch up the five days I'm off, starting Thursday.

Hope you'll be able to catch up soon as well, but that's gotta be so cool, having the manuscript there, a tangible thing! Congrats!
Edits or not, that's wonderful.

Whirlochre said...

It's like someone's invented a new variety of cheese that's even tastier than Port Salut and I'm like, whoa. That's the feeling I'm getting.

Robin S. said...


freddie said...

I missed the whole novel being printed out. Congrats!!