Thursday, November 20, 2008

Shitforbrains Trains To Be A Man


Tee hee hee, what fun this all is. And you try saying that with whiskers.

So, here’s the one surviving photo of shit-for-brains, clawed from his secret stash of family memorabilia and uploaded by my good friend Kashka, who’s an expert in this kind of stuff.

What’s so amusing about this photo is that it comes complete with notes. Old S-F-B catalogues everything — even used tea bags. What a loser.

According to the scribble, this one dates from the late 60s, and in the margin (just below a useless picture of a duck) it reads “7?” Presumably that’s ‘years’ rather than ‘number of times you’d like to dig your claws into his scrawny arse’.


The great thing about humans is that they have to go to school for years and years and years when they could be doing interesting stuff like chasing mice and hanging out on settees. And every year, they have their photo taken.

Look at him, the daft bugger. What does he think he’s doing? Practising to be a man in an office?

‘Thanks, Ron, I have the report you sent right in front of me. Let’s discuss figures.’

Or maybe he’s saying, ‘A fire? Engulfing your whole street? I’ll be round immediately with my brigade of burly firepersons.’

Or maybe, just maybe, it goes like this...

‘I’m a snotty little schoolkid holding up a cheapo plastic phone pretending to be all grown up in my zanily hip elasticated tie.’

Huh! Wish I could have twanged that one.

27 comments:

Kiersten said...

Okay--NO idea what they were thinking with the phone thing, but seriously, Whirl--you were ADORABLE. What a cute little boy.

Oh, sorry Geoff. I mean, yes, ridiculous. Although the red phone makes me think of the Oval Office. Maybe he was getting a call that we were about to get nuked? That would explain the knowing smile.

fairyhedgehog said...

What a cutie.

‘A fire? Engulfing your whole street? I’ll be round immediately with my brigade of burly firepersons.’

Be still my beating heart.

Rufus said...

Sorry, Geoff, my human sneaked a comment in when I wasn't looking.

What an embarrassment she is. You wouldn't think she was happily married but don't worry, I'll go and scratch something expensive of hers. That'll teach her.

You're doing great on the photos. Pity none of the rest of us felines are able to do our bit too.

Natalie said...

For some reason, this only confirms my theories that Whirl is a retired spy...

Mom In Scrubs said...

Looks like someone just pinched his butt.

Or he's high.

Great job, Geoff!

You're not so bad...for a cat.

JaneyV said...

Oh Whirl that is so Cute! I'm sure that the Mayor of Gotham City was thrilled to let you talk to Batman on the Batphone.

Batphone Geoff! Batphone!

Geoff said...

Rufus

Humans? Happily married? They're worse than toms fighting over an elusive siamese tease-puss...

ChrisEldin said...

Dear God I'm glad this wasn't about your son!!! I felt compelled to read this, just to make sure!

He's a cute kid, no matter what he's doing.
:-)

blogless troll said...

Who was on the phone?

McKoala said...

Lovely jump jump. Home-knitted pressie from Gran?

Robin S. said...

Oh- little cutie!

Who'd have thought that innocent little boy woulda turned out to be a man who looks killer in a kilt.
And has a female following most men would kill for...

Geoff said...

Hmmm...

Catty ears, but I'm not sure of the rest.

Note to self — look up 'troll' in The Brain Puss Big Book Of Facts...

Sarah Laurenson said...

Loving the retrospective, Geoff. Great breakdown of the photos you're finding.

Anonymous said...

I can see the budding sense of Whirlochre humor in that smirking spotted face. I bet you didn't hardly sit still for a second at a time, either.

Let's start a meme. I'll post one of me in 3rd grade.

writtenwyrdd

James Klousia said...

Geoff - thought you might enjoy this:

http://upsidedowndogs.com/

Cheers!

Geoff said...

pesky humans...

Kiersten said...

Also, LOVE the snippet in your word-count-o-meter thing right now. I was going to quote my favorite parts in here, but it was all my favorite part.

Rufus said...

You've gone quiet, Geoff. Has your human locked you up while he writes his last 10,000 words? Just say the word and I'll come and rescue you. It can't be far to where you live.

Geoff said...

Nope. I've just found the freezer cabinet full of Ben & Jerrys Phish Food, that's all. Ueeeeerk.

Robin S. said...

How's that WIP coming for your hooman?

Geoff said...

pesky humans...

Whirlochre said...

What the fuck's going on?

fairyhedgehog said...

Whirlochre, you're back! How's the writing going?

Geoff's been looking after your blog for you while you've been busy. Tasteful, isn't it?

Whirlochre said...

Tasteful? It's like Ernest Borgnine's scrotum stretched over Beelzebub's least favourite lava lamp.

Writing update to follow (Clue — I haven't finished yet).

Firstly, however, initiate Cat Suffering...

Firestar said...

Hello, Geoff.

I hope you get this. I realise this is an old post and my comment may be ignored. If so, I'll give it another go.

My name is Firestar, and I've just started a blog. Oh, my Peon (sometimes literally) is Bevie James, a new Evil Editor Minion. It isn't important, but it might mean something to Whirl.

FairyHedgeHog gave me the heads up on where to find you. I picked up your scent from Rufus, who had a few complimentary things to say about you.

Why don't you come by for a visit? I try to keep a supply of catnip. If you have a picture, let me know. I'll arrange to have it posted.

You can find me at "Cat in the Buff" - if you're interested. I am. Purrrrrr.

http://catinthebuff.blogspot.com/

Sarah Laurenson said...

Oh my! Kitty porn!

Geoff said...

Phew. Thanks for dropping by. SFB has resumed control of the blog so I'm back in Dummy Cat Mode for a while. But he has a chair by his computer desk, and every time he goes for a pee, I sneak out and log on.

Thanks for telling me about catinthebuff. You look kind of cute (if a little young) and Rufus is on fire, so I'll drop in whenever I can.

Meanwhile, this comment trail looks like a suitably clandestine place for cats to meet up. Tell Rufus. And any other cool felines you know...