Sunday, October 12, 2008

Memophilia 2


I made my mind up after my last life-and-death skirmish with the powers of Memophilia that I would never again succumb to revealing factually incorrect information about my idiosyncrasies on the basis of someone else’s whimsy — but then I got tagged by the delightful JaneyV and came over all enthusiastic, like a shamelessly unreconstituted Elvis impersonator whooping out the chorus of Heartbreak Hotel half a millimillisecond after beholding an image of his beloved pelvic thruster bobbing past on a puffy cloud.


Truly, I’m doomed.


1. What do you do before bedtime?

Watch TV, check on my favourite blogs and fix any damage to the fire-resistant carapace of my Whirlochre costume.

2. What is your favourite sound?

Anything capable of drowning out Whitney Houston.

3. What were your childhood fears?

Slugs. I used to be so afraid of the dark, I’d hide myself right down the bottom of bed. When I woke up in the middle of the night, half-suffocated and drenched in sweat, I frequently misinterpreted the yucky, hot stickiness as an Attack Of The Killer Slugs.

4. What place have you visited that you can't forget and want to go back?

Chirpingford Liposuction Clinic — they have an enormous water flume in the gardens, only instead of pumping water along the vast convolutions of day-glo plastic, they ladle out the vacuumed cellulite.

5. What has made you unhappy these days?

My teeth keep falling out whenever I floss.

6. What websites do you visit daily?

I try to get to most of the sites featured in my Nexus Deperplexus sidebar, along with www.horsebosomfootage.com and www.scrotiebagcatapultfest.com.

7. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

The greatest miniature ukelele player the world has ever seen.

8. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?

Jive Talking has been lodged in there like a piece of discovatin’ shrapnel since it was first released in 1975.

9. What’s your favourite item of clothing?

Besides my stripy socks? That would have to be a filthy old overcoat I wore to the pub in my teens while pretending to be Ian Anderson from the cover of Aqualung.

10. What is your dream for the future?

That there might just fucking be one.


OK, that’s me done — so now it’s over to Kiersten, Writtenwyrdd and Natalie (unless you’ve already been nabbed by the Blogosphere At Large and made merry with your trivia...)

30 comments:

Kiersten said...

Oh, boo. Fine, but really, only for you. And only if you let me borrow your Whirlochre costume sometime.

I always like how you can answer an entire questionairre without actually giving any information. Always entertaining though.

Natalie said...

Ha, is there anything that can drown out Whitney? I can't think of anything...at this moment.

I'll be back.

JaneyV said...

I think the term discovatin' shrapnel is possible the best one I've ever heard.

I find myself curious as to whether you wear the stripy socks and the Whirlochre costume together. I'm just strumming my miniature ukelele and pondering on it right now.

I saw a typo once in a paper advertisment selling tickets for a Whiney Houston concert. At least they claimed it was a typo…

Whirlochre said...

Whiney Houston! That's great.

writtenwyrdd said...

Oh no you di'int! I'll get to it in a day or two. I'm so boring, though.

writtenwyrdd said...

By the way...that slide...just gross. I'm just saying.

Kiersten said...

Oh, ha! For some reason world's best miniature ukelele player in mind mind traslated into Janey plays the ukelele and SHE'S miniature.

Which is a more fun mental image, I'll admit.

Also--you broke 70%!!! YAY Whirl!

Whirlochre said...

Hmm. It kind of broke me, too.

Natalie said...

I've decided that the only thing that can drown out Whitney is Celine.

A conundrum.

JaneyV said...

Oh Good Grief - if you throw in Mariah Carey you have the trifecta of female singers I would swim through sewage to avoid.

(That of course is just a big dollop of argumentative exaggeration - nothing would possess me to knowingly swim near poo - but some beaches down here on the south coast - ya never really know…)

Whirlochre said...

If I'm ever called upon to swim through sewage, I'm having Celine Dion as my soundtrack.

JaneyV said...

Oh Go Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Whirlochre said...

Whirl dons rubber suit & snorkel. Checks Aqualung.

SPLOOOOOOSH!

Every night in my dreams
I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on.

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on...

paddle...paddle...

JaneyV said...

From the relative comfort of her canoe, JaneyV strums her ukelele offering words of encouragement whilst holding her nose and keeping an eye out for Whiney and Mariah!

"Keep going oooooooon!"

Whirlochre said...

And look! Here comes Merde Honour...

JaneyV said...

Quick! Piddle faster … sorry I mean paddle faster. We might be up Merde's Creek but I've got a ukelele and I'll bloody well use it.

This is fun but unfortunately the nippers are needing me to say g'night. We shall fight the good fight against the wicked Divas anon.

Kiersten said...

I love you two.

Whirlochre said...

Janey — maybe it's late, but I keep thinking you've got one of those animated avatars. Every time I look at you, you're doing that Eric Morecambe thing with your specs.

Natalie said...

Oh goodness, look what I've started...

Can't wait to see where this goes, kinda.

Whirlochre said...

I have a sneaking suspicion that huge lumps of it are already here.

Kiersten said...

She's just checking you out over the top of her glasses. It's very flirty.

Maybe we should leave you two along in here.

JaneyV said...

Sorry - I slipped into an ammonia-induced coma and woke up with a ukelele imprint on my cheeks! Don't worry - my face hasn't a mark on it (she waggles her specs a bit, throws an imaginary ball in the air and catches it in a paper bag she just happened to have in the hand you weren't looking at).

Did you make it?

Whirlochre said...

Leona Lewis picked me up in a speedboat.

JaneyV said...

You want to watch her - she keeps bleeding love - Messy cow!

writtenwyrdd said...

I like you even better now that I know you have a bit of snarkitude toward la grande dame in her own mind Celine...

Mary said...

You are so lucky not to have grown up in the house I recently sold to an unsuspecting buyer. After dark, the slugs came out to slither, covering the front forecourt and rear yard so thoroughly one could barely tiptoe through them. On one occasion, a couple even managed to climb the drainpipe and come in through the bathroom window. And just to ice the cake, the largest snails I’ve ever seen in England shared the territory with the slugs.

All that, and ghosts too! I had no option but to move.

Whirlochre said...

Mary — just hope your buyer is into boogie boarding...

Mary said...

Me too. :-/

Ello said...

Just from reading your post, you have inflicted me with Jive talking. I may have to hunt you down now. Please give me the antidote!

Whirlochre said...

Nice to see you, Ello.

Sadly, there is, as yet, no known cure for anything Bee or Gee (or combinations thereof), so rest assured I will add them to my list of Irritating Human Endevours To Be Pilloried Mercilessly.