Monday, August 11, 2008

My Tongue Is Rubber, My Dream Is SLEEEEEEP


Columns of crystallized Merlot burst from every skin pore like heliotrope stalactites, speckles of undigested chili con carne detach themselves from the wall of my stomach like cats climbing down trees after a tsunami, and all around me, the world squeaks and grumbles like Ozzy Osbourne himself had sung me to sleep as I lay in a rock-filled hammock slung between a couple of Gigawatt speaker stacks.


I'm glad my mate Mike made it to fifty...but not so glad about everything else.

Back some time around September when I've winched my face from round my waist...

26 comments:

Kiersten said...

Oh, poor Whirl. Get some rest.

Whirlochre said...

zzzzzzz...

Sarah Laurenson said...

Partying is such sweet sorrow.

Whirlochre said...

Especially on the dehydrated morrow.

Groan.

Anonymous said...

Must've been some party.

writtenwyrdd

Robin S. said...

Hope you're feeling better and can now drink a boatload of water without feeling sicker!

My cure for hangovers (it works really well, so maybe next time...)
an aspirin (only aspirin works here, for dilating purposes), a piece of toast, and an ice cold can of Classic Coke.

Slouch on the couch moaning, and then take sips of the Coke - it makes you burp and it feels like heaven.

No kidding.

Whirlochre said...

Looks like I get to bounce back into action this morning — if in a prune-like fashion.

But did I really dance with that strange woman?

And what did I do to insult the bald guy?

And was it really so funny to pluck that friendly beagle?

Kiersten said...

1. Yes. But I'd hardly call that dancing.

2. What *didn't* you do to insult the bald guy? Honestly, Whirl, that was just plain mean.

3. Absolutely. Except I have no idea what you are talking about here.

Whirlochre said...

It's like playing the guitar — only hairier.

freddie said...

Oh, dear, WO. You'd better take Robin's advice.

My cure for hangovers is a ruthlessly hot bath and a huge bottle of cold water. Don't know why that works for me, but it does.

But I shall try Robin's method next time.

Robin S. said...

P.S. I like your eyes - and I bet you're grinning in the picture, but only just a little.

Whirlochre said...

Fully recovered now.

And before any of you cry, 'such a pity the guy's a feckless inebriate', this only happens roughly once every five years, OK?

So - back to smirking.

Kiersten said...

Wait, 14,000 and no deaths yet?? What kind of book is this?

Whirlochre said...

Hey — blood baths take time to fill...

Kiersten said...

Yes, but they take forever if there's no blood...

Kiersten said...

I mean, come on, I'm the lamest prude around, and even I had a guy get killed in the first forty pages!

Whirlochre said...

Fortunately, I'm about to commence on some nice juicy blood right now.

If it's any consolation, you've inspired me to big it up...

Kiersten said...

Oh, good. I knew there was a reason I was prevented from sleeping tonight. Who knew that my daughter throwing up all over herself would lead to buckets of blood in Whirl's manuscript? I'm just so glad something wonderful came out of this.

(Hmmm...feel free to ignore me. I'm exhausted beyond reason, which tends to make me weird. And talkative. Or typative, I suppose.)

Whirlochre said...

Typative is a very good word.

I'm having a few problems in that department at the moment thanks to some killer dodgems on holiday. I was involved in a head-on collision with some teenage French kids and the fingers of my left hand did a Spocky live long and prosper either side of the steering wheel.

But hey, that's just wussy.

On with the gore...

Kiersten said...

I made up a word Whirl approves of! And you're like the king of made-up words. I'm so pleased.

And ouch, that's not wussy, that sounds painful.

Whirlochre said...

Hey K — thanks to your lame prude input, I managed to squeeze a few extra blows to the head into my death scene.

Kiersten said...

Excellent. You can never have too many blows to the head.

Anonymous said...

Whirlio, how about an excerpt of your lacerative (if that's a word) gorefest? ww

McKoala said...

Kiersten and WO in the blood soaked ring of protagonist slaughter! Who would have thought it.

WO, I am disappointed by a mere one-day hangover. I would have thought you could have done better than that.

Whirlochre said...

You can never have too many blows to the head.

Especially this week.

Meanwhile — the gorefests I'm saving for a rainy day, but I did slip a hint of slaughter into EE's last Death Scene exercise. It's at #10 on 12/4/08.

Whirlochre said...

Oh — and I've just murdered breakfast.