Thursday, August 7, 2008

1963


What a great year that was.


* First series of Dr Who.

* First Beatles album.

* First Russian to make it out of the USSR with permission from the Kremlin.

* First appearance of TAB cola brings a whole new world of choice to everyone hellbent on destroying their own stomach lining.

* First time Martin Luther King gives a speech without swinging an enormous fish round his head bellowing, ‘I have a bream...’

* First time the phrase zip code has meaning outside certain gents’ lavatories.

* First time you can be burnt by the Roman Catholic church in the name of cremation rather than heresy.

* First Russian woman to make it out of the USSR with permission from the Kremlin, presumably to pick up all the dead dogs and monkeys before the yanks could get to them.

* First horse to receive a liver transplant from a duck.

* First time the people of Zanzibar can lick a postage stamp without the Queen of England on the front of it.

* First time Philip Larkin traps his cock in a biscuit tin while masturbating.

Oh yes — and this poor wretch was left out in the garden by his heartless mother for days on end, with only his own wet nappies strung on the washing line for company.


No wonder I grew to hate the sight of a blank page.

18 comments:

Kiersten said...

Oh, Baby Whirl! How cute!

And I was going to mock you for saying you are old enough to be my dad, until I realized that I had my first baby at twenty. So, nevermind.

Also, I wish I could leave my babies safe in a carriage outside...they were more the "hold me twenty-four-hours-a-day or suffer the ear-bleeding consequences."

Of course, drawing a comparison between your nappies and blank pieces of paper naturally leads one to wonder what you fill the paper with...

Whirlochre said...

Definitely a Nappy Day today on the fill-in-the-blanks front.

writtenwyrdd said...

That is an adorable photo. Loved the reasoning for the blank page fetish. Now explain mine!

I've got a couple of years on you, sonny boy. Literally.

Whirlochre said...

WW

Let me guess — the black holes in the nebulahoodneck of the woods where you were raised sucked in galaxies in regular pulses and appeared as rectangualar angel-like bodies when viewed through a kaleidoscope the wrong way round but you can't remember it exactly and only have the Omniscioseer's negatives to go on?

Was it that?

Anonymous said...

I'm soooo confused...

Mebbe it was the whites of my mother's eyes when she saw me with a crayon in each fist? Or the pure, sterile white of the insanitorium walls, back in my old alma mater? I just can't decide.

ww

Whirlochre said...

Truly, 'tis a living hell...

McKoala said...

How is it possible that you were ever a baby? Surely you just popped up from the ground, fully formed? That something so cute could...

My mother has an almost identical picture of me in my big wagon. Except in colour.... Hee hee.

Whirlochre said...

I think everyone has a version of this photo, though today, we have buggies and carrycots instead of those enormous prams of yesteryear.

But hey, let's face it, babies are fuck all use for months.

Kiersten said...

I have no idea what that last sentence was supposed to mean. Clearly that's a use of the word I don't know.

Okay, most uses of that word I don't know.

Anyway, I was just going to congratulate you! From one sugar addict to another, that's some impressive chocolate consumption!

Oh, and the progress is nice, too

Bernita said...

Whirl - you are unique.

Whirlochre said...

I was in 1963. Nowadays, I see lookalikes in every car tyre re-tread warehouse...

Robin S. said...

How did I miss this????

Crap. I'm older than you are.

Whirlochre said...

But probably 22 in Turtle Years.

Robin S. said...

Not much older, but still.

Robin S. said...

Hey now.

Do I need to be looking up a turtle-to-human-year and getting a little bit fussy??

Signed - slow on the uptake me.

Whirlochre said...

Robin

Your best bet is to get hold of a copy of Snakey O Reilly's Reptile Conversion Tables, which ought to have a full list of times, down to the nearest second — as well as info on comparing your hunger for flies and insects with that of an iguana.

(I'm 1,242,000 in Mayfly years, btw)

JaneyV said...

Oh yes! I was oft abandoned outside in the pram too. My mother used to leave me in the pram outside department stores while she went shopping.

I have a strong memory of buckets of nappies soaking in Milton in the bathroom too. That probably goes a long way to explaining my aversion to bleach.

You cute btw.

But I'm younger by three years!

Whirlochre said...

Thanks, Janey. I'll catch up.