Saturday, July 12, 2008

Whirl Goes Sunbathing


It's that time of year when I can refrain no more from donning a pair of flowery Hawaiian shorts, slapping enough sun cream on to my pallid flesh to drown a hippopotamus and floundering in the briney like a jellyfish entangled in its own wibbly dangly bits.


And so, to France I away, to amuse and amaze all Gallic souls with a grasp of the French language to rival a three-toed sloth trying to hang onto a fatty sausage while trampolining during a hurricane.

The best I've managed so far is a reply of "yes" to the question "would you like me to speak English?" What a terrible foreigner I am.

So — nothing much is likely to be happening round here till the end of the month, unless I find myself a cyber cafe among the sprawl of Snail-On-A-Stick bazaars and medieval toilets, in which case I may just post.

Until then, adieu.


22 comments:

writtenwyrdd said...

Have fun. Where are you going to sun your pallid flesh?

Whirlochre said...

All over.

Just waiting to fill the mule up with porridge, then we can get going.

Kiersten said...

France! Ah, sweet jealousy.

Have a wonderful, relaxing, sun-soaked time.

I hope that's not an actual picture of you.

And as I'm sure you know, I'll miss you. Better post some more voice clips when you get back to make up for it.

Adieu?

Whirlochre said...

Oui, mademoiselle. Vous avez métamorphosé.

Got to go now — the mule is full and soggy oats squirt from her eyes...

McKoala said...

Muchly fun holidays.

Gee, aren't you handsome.

Robin S. said...

What a terrible foreigner I am.

What a hoot you are.

And love that pic, sweetie. But where were the socks?

writtenwyrdd said...

I should have known to be more careful with my questions with you!

I had a 3rd degree sunburn once. Don't do that, okay?

writtenwyrdd said...

I should have known to be more careful with my questions with you!

I had a 3rd degree sunburn once. Don't do that, okay?

Robin S. said...

Hope you're having a big time!

We miss you.

ChrisEldin said...

Have fun!!

Robin S. said...

OK. I'm just coming on here to say I REALLY MISS YOU.

Kiersten said...

Dear Whirl,

I hope France appreciates you. The rest of us are in withdrawl.

writtenwyrdd said...

We need to hear from you, Whirlio. Not enough akilter weirdness in my life lately.

Kiersten said...

Thought you needed to know--they are bringing back KITT.

Robin S. said...

Hey Whirl,

We're leavin' on the proverbial Joni Mitchell-ified jet plane in a few days - but I just wanted to come by and say I've really missed you.

Hope you had a wonderful and relaxing time, and please don't leave us again for a long long time.

Thank you.


Love,

Rob

Whirlochre said...

Thanks for all the comments left in my absence, dudes — I did consider leaving comment moderation off for a fortnight but didn't want to be stalked by miscellaneous penile enhancers.

Anyhow — back now. My skin is more frazzled than Ron Ely's loincloth and I've consumed enough garlic to ward off all vampires till 2077, but what I haven't done for 2 weeks is have a shave. Luckily, no Hollywood film producers live nearby so there's no chance of me being roped in to starring in another remake of King Kong - or a first run of George Clooney's Stubble Invades Whirl's Face.

Terror to follow...

writtenwyrdd said...

If you don't want to moderate comments, Whirlio, you can have the word verification function on instead. Prevents most comment spam.

Glad you had fun, and now I am wondering about you in other ways after that loincloth comment...

Kiersten said...

You're back! Insert much happy dancing.

I hope you had a wonderful time. I missed you, but mostly sent bitter, jealous thoughts your way as I cleaned up vomit in my apartment day after day after endless day.

Whirlochre said...

WW

Somewhere in the world, there is an obsessive old Tarzan fan whose shabby apartment is full of Ely parerphinalia and an even more obsessive zealot who has tracked him down in order to steal the last surviving loincloth, roll it into a huge stogie and smoke it. I'm happy to report that I'm neither of these men — I simply tend to a shrine of Jai's fingernail clippings from dawn till dusk...

K

Let's invent the Vomit Hoover and make a mint.

Robin S. said...

I'm so glad you're back!!!!!

The world was terribly askew without you.

McKoala said...

Turns out you're quite missable. Who knew.

Kiersten said...

Count me in.